The One Where I Review Season 3 of FRIENDS

Season 3 of Friends debuted on Television all the way back in September of 1996. Rewatching the first two seasons has been a lot of fun, as it usually is, but it's nice to be able to actually write these short reviews to eventually go back to and see how much I agree with myself in the future. Season 3 is one of the most memorable seasons and one that has an impact on every season after with the big breakup episode, but I'll talk about that when we get to that episode. The season picks up with all the stories from last season, like Ross and Rachel dating and Chandler's new love for Janice. 

The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN! We see that Joey is getting tired of Janice being at the apartment all the time again, but deals with it for Chandler's sake. By the end of the episode, he still can't stand her, but decides to at least make peace with her. Janice continues to be a great guest character, going to miss her when she leaves again. Monica is depressed after breaking up with Richard, but her dad comforts her later by telling her that Richard is just as miserable as she is. It's a sweet moment, one of the few we get between Monica and her dad. Ross tells Rachel about his Princess Leia fantasy, which Rachel decides to fulfill. It's all ruined when, right before this happens, Chandler tells Ross that sometimes he thinks about his mom during sex accidentally, and he can't get his brain to move on from the image. So, of course, this leads to Ross picturing Rachel as his mom in the Princess Leia bikini and ruins his fantasy. They also mention the hot girl from the Xerox place in this episode, a recurring topic that becomes very important later in the season. 

"Oh, by the way, there is no Count Rushmore!" - Chandler

"Then who's the guy who painted the faces on the mountain?!" - Joey

GRADE: B

The One Where No One's Ready: The first bottle episode (and only?) of the show is also one of the most memorable episodes of the series. The entire episode takes place in Monica's apartment as Ross tries desperately to get everyone ready to leave on time for his important work event. This goes poorly as all the friends find ways to delay getting ready. Joey and Chandler are fighting about a chair, which leads to them spilling sauce on Phoebe and ruining her dress. Rachel can't decide what to wear and keeps changing her mind, further stressing Ross out. Monica is freaking out after hearing a woman's voice on Richard's answering machine after she left a "breezy" message of her own. The pacing of the episode is perfect as each character goes through their own crisis with tons of great jokes. The best moment has to be Joey putting on all of Chandler's clothes at the same time. 

"You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants, but when he stepped out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?" - Chandler

GRADE: A

The One With All the Jam: Monica decides to start a "jam plan" to get over Richard, which involves... making a lot of jam. When that doesn't work, she decides to look into sperm donors to try to start a family on her own. She ends up finding Joey's sperm donor profile, which is the funniest part of the episode. Thankfully, Joey has a sweet moment with Monica and helps her feel better about the recent Richard breakup. I always like the Joey is a sweetheart moments in the show; he's the most loyal friend of them all. In a pretty bad storyline, Phoebe dates her twin sister's stalker, played by David Arquette. The same David Arquette who would marry Courtney Cox just a few years later. In fact, they had probably just met earlier in the year, filming the first Scream in 1996. Anyway, the stalker story sucks, and it was a weird use of David Arquette, and it even felt weird for Phoebe's character. Eh, this episode overall is pretty forgettable outside of that nice Joey and Monica moment. Actually, a fun fact of this episode is that Joey's character breaks his arm at the start, but that was actually to cover up the fact that Matt LeBlanc actually dislocated his shoulder during the filming of the last episode. 

GRADE: C-

The One With the Metaphorical Tunnel: Chandler is afraid of taking the next step with Janice until he talks to Joey about it. Then Chandler takes his commitment too far and scares Janice away. The girls have to comfort Chandler as he thinks he blew it with Janice until she comes back for Chandler. It's a nice moment of growth for Chandler, and it shows that with the right person, he's willing to finally commit. On the other story we get Phoebe becoming Joey's agent, as she does a great job getting him more auditions. Sadly, this means also hearing back after Joey's auditions and having to tell Joey he didn't get the part. This leads to a fun scene where she gives Joey feedback and makes him sad. Ross also tries to convince his son Ben to stop playing with a Barbie doll, because of toxic masculinity or something like that. I mean, I played with girls' toys when I was a kid, and I turned out fine... well, I guess fine is a strong word. 

"Sure. Jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of a gun, pee into the wind!" - Joey

"I assure you, if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm going to be peeing in every which way" - Chandler

GRADE: C+

The One With Frank, Jr.: The highlight of the episode is seeing Frank Jr again, as I've said before, he's a very fun character. This time, he and Phoebe have some sibling bonding time as they try to get to know each other, with mostly poor results. Frank thinks Phoebe is a sex worker when she tells him she's a masseuse, and he gets in trouble when he makes a move on one of Phoebe's coworkers. I also love Frank wanting to set everything on fire at the apartment. Joey builds his famous entertainment center in this episode, which becomes a running joke for the rest of the season because it's too big. Chandler and Janice tell Ross and Rachel about their list of 5 celebrity freebies they can "sleep with" without it counting as cheating. Ross struggles to make his list as he keeps wanting to change celebs. He ends up narrowly leaving out Isabella Rossellini, who just so happens to show up at the coffee shop later. Another okay episode, with a few good moments. Thank god for Frank Jr.

"You know how we're always saying we need a place to put the mail? Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take the next step." - Joey

"You're building a post office?" - Chandler

GRADE: C+

The One With the Flashback: A flashback is triggered after Janice asks the friends which one of them almost hooked up with each other. The flashback takes place at least a year before the pilot episode, as Rachel has just gotten engaged to Barry and runs into Monica at a bar (that eventually becomes Central Perk). Rachel is back to her old ways as she's hanging out with her rich friends, but Chandler catches her eye. We get a hint to Rachel's doubts about Barry as she fantasizes about hooking up with Chandler at the bar later on, a pairing I'm glad we never actually saw. Ross is dealing with a sexless marriage with his wife, Carol. Carol gets excited when Ross brings up the idea of having a threesome, which, of course, leads to Ross finding out Carol is a lesbian. Phoebe comforts Ross after his realization that his marriage is over, and they nearly have sex on the pool table before they realize it's a bad idea. It's honestly an interesting romantic partnership, but obviously, the show probably wouldn't have worked as well if Phoebe replaced Rachel in the romance. The last story has Joey meeting Chandler for the first time as he is looking for a new place to live. Monica sees Joey and instantly has a crush on him, leading to Joey trying to sleep with her. His methods are too aggressive, though, and she shuts him down, but ultimately remains his friend. Probably the most believable relationship would have been Joey and Monica, but of course, that would delete Chandler from the future, and again, would make the show worse. This is a fun episode, though, with lots of fun teases as relationships that never actually happen on the show, but ultimately it doesn't actually affect anything in the future outside of Joey moving in with Chandler. 

"Get ready for me to whip your butt!" - Monica

"Okay, but after that, we're playing some pool." - Chandler

GRADE: B

The One With the Racecar Bed: Monica buys a new bed from Janice's separated husband behind Chandler's back, but she ends up with the wrong order in the form of a racecar bed. While returning the bed, Joey catches Janice and her husband kissing in the backroom of the store. Ross and Rachel have dinner with Mr. Greene, but Ross keeps embarrassing himself in front of him. It gets worse when Ross leaves a tip after Mr. Greene doesn't, but he's caught in the act. The funniest part of the episode is when  Ross and Mr. Greene finally find common ground by making fun of Rachel. One of my favorite jokes is when they make fun of the fact that she has one shorter leg than the other. Joey starts teaching an acting class, but becomes jealous of one of his students who is clearly better than him. He tries to sabotage him when they end up auditioning for the same part, but it only makes him have an even better audition. Another solid episode, but nothing amazing. Fun fact: this is the first time Gunther is revealed to be in love with Rachel.

"To work in soap operas, some of you are going to have to become much more attractive." - Joey to his class

GRADE: B-

The One With the Giant Poking Device: Continuing from the last episode, Joey tells Chandler about Janice kissing her husband. Chandler decides to ask her about it, and she tells him she's in love with both of them. Chandler, being the good guy he is, decides to step away from Janice, giving her a chance to make things work with her husband. It shows time and time again that Chandler is a mature guy and is always ready to do the right thing, even if it hurts him. Well... I say that, but next season Chandler makes a big mistake, more on that next season. Monica and Rachel take care of Ben while Ross is at work, and Monica bangs Ben's head against the ceiling. Ben decides to try to rat her out by saying "Monica bang" over and over. It's a cute little story, and I love when they massacre the stuffed bear to give Ben a hat over his bump. Phoebe gets a mildly funny story where she's afraid to go to the dentist because someone always dies when she does. She thinks she's killed ugly naked guy, so the friends make a giant poking device to see if he's alive. Unfortunately, he is. 

"What's the matter (Phoebe), you need a dentist? I got a good one." - Ross

"Thanks, I have a good one too, I just can't see him" - Phoebe

"See, that's the problem with invisible dentists" - Chandler

GRADE: B

The One With the Football: One of the funniest episodes of the series involves all the friends playing football. This is one of the better Ross and Monica episodes, and that's saying something because there are a lot of good ones for them. I like all the little stories that happen during the game, like Rachel being ignored by everyone until the end, where she has her big moment. Chandler and Joey are fighting over a girl who is at the park, and for the first time ever, Chandler gets the girl over Joey. That lasts about a few seconds, as Chandler embarrasses himself in front of her, and she rejects him, too. But really, the main part of the episode that carries it is Monica and Ross battling over the "Geller Cup," which is an ugly troll doll trophy from their childhood that Monica had been holding onto. Monica and Ross constantly being childish towards each other is too funny, and I love how it ends with them just fighting for the trophy alone while all the other friends are back home enjoying Thanksgiving. 

"Nice try (Chandler), see, the Netherlands is a make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from." - Joey, when asked where Dutch people come from

GRADE: A+

The One Where Rachel Quits: In an uneven episode, Rachel finally quits her job at Central Perk, which sets of a series of events that will be pretty important later on in the season. Rachel proves to be terrible at her job time and time again, but it's because she hates it, and she wants to work in the clothing/fashion industry. The best story from this episode, though, is Ross selling Girl Scout cookies to help a young girl whose leg he accidentally broke. It leads to a lot of funny scenes, like Ross selling cookies to stoners and Ross being overly competitive with a bunch of little girls. There are also some funny scenes of Monica getting addicted to the cookies and Ross having to cut her off. This all leads to one of the sweetest scenes on the show, where Ross and Chandler pretend to take the young girl to space after she fails to win a trip to Space Camp. In a more boring story, Phoebe is mad at Joey for selling Christmas trees. 

"Says here a puppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you at ten-ish?" - Chandler to Ross after he accidentally broke the little girl's leg earlier

GRADE: B

The One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister: We are introduced to fan favorite Mark in this episode, who becomes a big part of the Ross and Rachel story. I say fan favorite sarcastically; of course, I doubt any Friends fans like Mark that much. Mark does help Rachel get a job at Bloomingdale's, so at least he's got that going for him. Ross is immediately suspicious of Mark and thinks he's only trying to get with Rachel. More on that later. During a party at his apartment, Chandler gets drunk and makes out with one of Joey's sisters. The problem is that he has seven sisters, and Chandler can't remember which one he was with. It's almost foreshadowing future events in the next season. I do love the scene where Joey's grandma keeps answering Chandler when he's asking Mary-Angela questions to figure out which one she is. There's also a fun gag with Monica's upstairs neighbor being too loud, and Phoebe starts to date him, only to hear him cheating on her later because he's so loud. 

"You see! You can't tell them apart either! Bleh!" - Chandler about Joey's sisters

"Well, we didn't fool around with any of them! Bleh! Bleh!" - Phoebe

GRADE: C+

The One With All the Jealousy: Ross continues to be jealous of Mark, so much so that he starts sending Rachel too many gifts at work. I do love the barbershop quartet he sends her, who show up at the end of the episode again. It's a nice continuation of the Mark and Rachel story, which eventually leads to the biggest moment of the season later. I think it's interesting to see Ross acting like the idiot here, even though you can kind of get where he's coming from. Monica starts dating a poet from her work named Julio. He writes her a poem that she loves, until the other friends tell her it's about her and it's degrading. She gets revenge on Julio by bringing back the barbershop quartet to sing him a song about how much of a pig he is, which is very satisfying. We also get Joey pretending to know how to do musical theatre and dancing, but he is forced to teach the actors the dance after the instructor has to leave. The funniest part of the episode is Joey running away after he's forced to dance in front of the instructor. 

"You are just a butt-munch! No one likes a butt-munch." - The Barbershop quartet singing to Julio

GRADE: B

The One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends: Monica runs into Richard at a video store, and all their feelings come rushing back. They decide to try to become friends with benefits, and it works for a while, until they realize they still have strong feelings for each other. They decided to have one last night together before saying goodbye for good. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, it was nice to see Richard again, but it also felt like Monica was going backwards after spending so many episodes mourning this relationship. Phoebe dates a jock who wears shorts that reveal his balls when he sits down. It's a funny joke that maybe goes on for a bit too long, but I guess they needed to give Pheebs something to do here. Joey and Rachel give each other their favorite books to read (The Shining and Little Women), but Joey spoils the ending for Rachel. I do love Joey putting the books in his freezer because the books are too scary or sad. 

"Hey buddy, this is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house" - Gunther, to the jock who was showing his balls

GRADE: C+

The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner: Phoebe's old friend and songwriting partner, Leslie, plays a show at Central Perk and tries to reunite with Phoebe. Phoebe isn't having any of it, though, as she's still hurt that Leslie ditched her to write music for commercials. Eventually, they rejoin one last time before Leslie runs off again to sell Phoebe's song to a cat litter company. I do love Leslie, though; her voice is really great in the few songs they sing. Actually, you'd instantly recognize her voice if you grew up watching Rugrats or Powerpuff Girls, as she is the voice of Tommy and Buttercup. Chandler starts dating Ginger, who has an artificial leg. Turns out, Joey also dated Ginger, but ran away from her after accidentally burning her leg in a fire while they were out camping. Joey telling that story will always be one of the funniest moments of the season. Chandler is grossed out by the leg, but eventually makes peace with it. Ginger is happy with Chandler's maturity until she finds out about his third nipple and breaks up with him instantly. 

"Jingle bitch screwed me over! Go to hell, jingle whore!" - Phoebe singing a song about Leslie 

GRADE: A-

The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break: Ross's jealousy finally exhausts Rachel, and she decides to take a break from him after a heated argument. From Ross's point of view, he's sad that they never spend time together anymore because Rachel is too busy with her new job. From Rachel's point of view, she's finally doing a job she actually cares about, and thinks Ross should be happy for her and understand her new commitments. Mark basically gets what he wants here because Ross couldn't put his jealousy aside for Rachel's sake. Joey and Chandler finally ask out the Xerox girl named Chloe, but are confused when she seemingly makes a date with both of them. They hilariously try to figure out how to proceed if they end up having a threesome with her after the "date". Well, it turns out she's actually into Ross and wants to hook up with him. Ross gives Rachel one last call before doing anything stupid, but when he hears Mark's voice, he decides to go all in with the Xerox girl and sleeps with her. It's interesting how a bad coincidence leads to Ross's decision to hook up with the Xerox girl. In a way, you can see why, since in his head, he thinks Rachel is doing the same with Mark at the moment. It also kind of confuses me as to why Rachel calls Mark over right after their fight, especially knowing it was kind of about him. Mark sucks because it really seems like he purposely wanted Ross to hear his voice to further drive him away from Rachel. We also get Phoebe dating a French diplomat whose translator keeps getting in the way of their intimate moments. Pretty great scene where Monica dates the translator and they both go off on their own, leaving Phoebe with the French speaker, whom she can't understand.

"My guy has coupons. Your guy can't even SAY coupons" - Monica to Phoebe and her French-speaking date

GRADE: A

The One With the Morning After: As far as funny episodes go, this is probably the least funny of all the Friends episodes. To be fair, it's not meant to be a very funny episode and is actually the most serious episode of the show so far, probably of the entire show. Ross wakes up after sleeping with the Xerox girl, only to find that Rachel left him a message and wants to get back together. Ross then spends the entire day trying to stop the trail that leads from the Xerox girl back to Rachel, but it is too late. Rachel finds out about Ross and the Xerox girl through Gunther, and so begins the emotional rollercoaster that is this episode. The rest of the episode is Ross and Rachel fighting, as Ross tries his best to win Rachel back, but Rachel just can't see Ross the same after finding out he was with another woman. I'll be honest, I have often skipped this episode on my rewatches, as it's just not a very fun episode to go through again. The acting is fantastic, though, and David and Jennifer as Ross and Rachel do some of their best work here with tears in their eyes and lots of big emotions. It's a huge turning point for the show in a way, because this moment is pretty much referenced throughout the rest of the show, and Ross and Rachel's breakup carries on throughout the rest of the show. The rest of the friends are stuck in Monica's room while this is all happening, providing some comedic relief throughout the fight. But overall, this is a heartbreaking episode. At least it's done very well.

"Look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing is right. And that's what death beds are for." - Chandler

GRADE: A

The One With the Ski Trip: After the big breakup, all the friends have to divide their time between Rachel and Ross, as they can't be in the same room together. Rachel invites everyone to a ski cabin for the weekend, leaving Ross forced to spend the weekend alone. On the way to the cabin, Phoebe's taxi runs out of gas and leaves them stranded at a snowy rest stop with no one around. This episode is particularly great for Chandler, as he is lashing out at everyone after the breakup and starts smoking again. He's like a darker version of Chandler in the next few episodes, and it's great. Ross annoys Carol on her special date night with Susan, as he has no one else to talk to. I'll admit this episode is a bit of a comedown from the last two emotional episodes, but it was probably needed after all that. I always found this episode to be a bit of a chore to watch, but it's basically here to get Rachel and Ross to slowly move past the breakup from the last episode. 

"You SLEPT with another woman?!" - Carol

"Oh, you're - You're one to talk" -  Ross

GRADE: C-

The One With the Hypnosis Tape: Two big moments happen in this episode, and that's the introduction of Pete and Alice. Pete is a random customer at the restaurant Monica works at, and he asks her out after hearing she's single. Turns out Pete is a millionaire who owns a tech company, so he takes her on a date to Italy for some pizza. As much as Monica likes the idea of dating him, she just has no feelings for him after the date. Frank Jr. returns to visit Phoebe and tell her about his new fiance named, Alice. The thing is, Alice was his teacher in school and is much older than him, so this freaks Phoebe out, and she tries to break them up. I love the scene where Ross and Joey try to convince Frank to stay single, but he ends up inspiring them, and they become part of his wedding party. Chandler gets a tape from Rachel to help him quit smoking again. The tape was made for women, and after listening to it during sleep, he starts acting more feminine the next day. Certainly a big upgrade from the last episode, as things go back to normal and we get some fun storylines that will carry on for the next few episodes. 

"Think about it, you're 18, and she's 44. When you're 36, she's going to be 88" - Joey to Frank Jr.

"You think I don't know that?" - Frank Jr

GRADE: B+

The One With the Tiny T-Shirt: FRANKIE SAYS RELAX! Ross is hurt when Rachel gives him a box of his stuff that she had from their days of dating. In his anger, he takes a shirt back that he gave to Rachel. There's a nice, sweet moment at the end where he gives her back the shirt, and it shows that Rachel still cares for Ross, and a spark of hope that they could potentially still work out together. Monica continues dating Pete, but still has no feelings for him despite trying her best. I forgot to mention in the last episode that Pete is played by the great Jon Favreau, you may know him from the MCU as Happy, or maybe his cult classic film, Swingers. He's a great addition to the cast this season. Rachel also goes on a date with douchebag Mark, but ultimately can't find herself taking things further with him as she has mixed feelings about everything that happened between them and Ross. Thankfully, this is the last we get to see Mark until his random appearance in the last season. Good riddance. 

"You slept with someone three hours after you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower!" - Chandler to Ross, after Ross sees Mark with Rachel

GRADE: C+

The One With the Dollhouse: Monica's Aunt Silvia dies and leaves her a big dollhouse that she's wanted since she was little. Of course, this is Monica, so she creates all these needless rules for the house and doesn't let Phoebe play with it. Phoebe creates her own dollhouse instead, and everyone likes it more than Monica's. This is one of those episodes where Monica's controlling gets out of hand. I remember a lot more of these coming up in the future. Joey is going to star in a play, and his co-star, Kate, doesn't take him seriously. Joey develops a big crush on Kate, but she pays him no attention, as she's already dating the play's director. Things get steamy, though, when Kate and Joey rehearse this big kiss, and it leads to them sleeping together afterward. For the first time on the show, Joey sleeps with someone and wants to pursue something more, but is rejected by Kate as she only saw it as a one-night thing. Chandler dates Rachel's boss, but he totally hates her. Of course, Chandler can't admit that, so he lies to her and says he liked her. Rachel forces Chandler to tell the truth. Another very fun episode, and I really liked the Joey storyline with Kate here. It's cool to see Joey on the other side of things for once. 

"A house for dolls? That's great! When I was growing up, I had a barrel" - Phoebe

"You had a barrel for a doll house?" - Ross

"No, just a barrel" - Phoebe

GRADE: B+

The One With a Chick. and a Duck.: The introduction to Joey and Chandler's chick and duck. Dick the Duck and Yasmine the Chick, named after Chandler's biggest celeb crush. Monica has to wear skates at work thanks to Phoebe, and she crashes into Rachel and injures her arm. This leads to Ross taking care of Rachel and helping her get ready for a work event, and later on, taking her to the hospital instead. He actually ends up giving away his opportunity to be on a TV show to help Rachel, and when she finds out, she's very touched. This is another little spark between Ross and Rachel that gives you even more hope that they could fix things. Monica is still not into Pete. He offers to make her the head chef at a new restaurant he purchased, but she's skeptical that he's still trying to win her over romantically. When she finds out that she was right, she rejects his new job proposal. This leads to a goodbye kiss between them, and the kiss is so good that she finally feels something for Pete. So begins the new relationship between Pete and Monica. I'll admit I never cared much for this relationship, and it honestly feels like the show didn't either. More on this later... 

"Now, you stay out here and think about what you DID!" - Chandler to the duck

GRADE: C+

The One With the Screamer: Ben Stiller guest stars in this episode as Rachel's new romantic interest, Tommy. Ross meets him at Joey's play and is shocked when he yells at an old couple who were in their seats. Ross obsesses over catching him screaming again, ruining his own date in the process. Ben Stiller is hilarious, though. I loved seeing him on this show, and honestly, I completely forgot about this appearance, so it was a cool surprise. At the end of the episode, the rest of the friends catch him screaming at the chick and the duck, and it's amazing. Joey's play bombs, and the director breaks up with Kate after seeing her performance get terrible reviews. This leads to Joey making her feel better, and they have a nice romantic night together. It ends poorly for Joey, as Kate leaves the next day for Hollywood when she's offered a new role. This is just how Joey's romances play out, it seems. He finally falls for a girl, and it just falls apart instantly. No wonder he just sticks with the one-night stands. Oh, and Phoebe spends the entire episode on hold on a warranty call. 

"STEP away from the duck!" -Chandler to Tommy when they catch him yelling at the duck

GRADE: B

The One With Ross's Thing: NO! Not THAT thing! Ross has a growth on his back and can't identify it, so he sees multiple doctors. Only Phoebe's weird guru can figure it out, but only because he accidentally rips it off. Not the best storyline, but the scene where all the doctors come to look at Ross's butt is pretty funny. This story kind of reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where George sees a guru for some reason. I guess Gurus were a funny concept in the 90s? Monica thinks Pete is getting ready to propose to her when she finds an order for a ring design in his office. Turns out, the ring design was for a UFC ring, as Pete is getting ready to compete in mixed martial arts. Let's face it, we all knew Pete was going to get his ass kicked. Phoebe dates a fireman and a teacher and can't decide who to stay with. Every time she thinks she's found a reason to pick one, the other surprises her with the same exact thing the other guy had. It's an okay story, not super funny or memorable, but the ending is pretty decent. This is easily one of the weakest episodes of the season for me. 

"What's a kundis?" - Ross

"Nothing, what's a kundis with you?" - Guru

GRADE: C-

The One With the Ultimate Fighting Champion: When I said earlier that I think the show doesn't even care about Monica and Pete's relationship, this is what I meant. Pete is quickly written off the show as the writers just turn him into an idiot in two episodes, giving Monica no reason to stay with him. I mean, it was never going to live up to the Richard relationship, and it wasn't really trying to, so that's okay. Still, it seems like they rushed this ending here to get Pete out of the show before the season ended. Pete gets his ass kicked multiple times, and Monica doesn't want to see him getting hurt, so she ends things with him. Bye Pete! Ross starts dating Bonnie, whom Rachel thinks is a bald woman, so she's cool with it. Turns out, Bonnie is no longer bald and is very beautiful, so Rachel becomes jealous. Bonnie is one of the cooler characters on the show, probably too cool for Ross, really. Chandler has to deal with his boss, who keeps spanking his buttocks as a form of praise. Slap dat ass. But Chandler isn't into it, because he's a baby. Joking aside, it's a fun storyline, but nothing too crazy. I do like the end where Chandler feels left out when everyone else gets spanked. 

Also, Billy Crystal and Robin Williams make an appearance at the start of the episode, and it's the most random, hilarious scene on the show. 

"I have a feeling my wife is sleeping with her gynecologist" - Robin Williams

"Really? How do you know?" - Billy Crystal

"Well, he's got access" - Robin Williams

GRADE: B

The One at the Beach: The first season finale that takes place in a whole new location, a trend that continues in the next few seasons. This time, the friends all go to the beach! The two big things here are Phoebe meeting her real mom and Ross and Rachel possibly getting back together, finally. Phoebe finds out her mom's best friend, whom she's named after, lives out in Montauk, and everyone decides to make a trip out of it. The big twist is that Phoebe is actually Phoebe's mother. That is, Phoebe Senior is actually Phoebe Buffay's mother. Rachel sabotages Ross's new girlfriend Bonnie by getting her to shave her head again, and Ross is very much not into it. Ross ends up confronting Rachel, but they end up kissing, giving Ross a choice to make at the end of the episode. The rest of the friends play strip poker because Joey wouldn't shut up about it. They all team up on Joey, and he loses all his clothes first. Chandler is annoyed that Monica says she wouldn't date him, but we know what happens there. Monica is destined to be a BING! 

In this episode, Phoebe uses the popular phrase "BFF" for the first time in a television show, which apparently made it even more popular after it aired. They didn't invent the phrase, but it's cool to know the phrase became so popular again because of Friends. 

"Which one of you has the gun to my head?" - Monica, when asked to pick between Joey and Chandler

GRADE: A-

Another season of Friends is done, and this one is probably the best one so far. Certainly, the most emotional season with the Ross and Rachel breakup storyline. The Ross and Rachel breakup is pretty much the turning point for the show in a lot of ways, as it's the moment that's referenced the most in the rest of the show, I believe. That and so many storylines going forward for those two characters revolve around the breakup. Get ready to hear "we were on a break" a bunch of times throughout the show. 

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World Cup 2026 Sucks and It Hasn't Even Started Yet

 The 2026 World Cup is set to take place this summer in the USA, with some games also taking place in Mexico and Canada. You know, when this was first announced years ago, I was super excited to see the World Cup finally come back to the States and potentially even finally see a World Cup game in person. That dream was shattered into tiny bite-sized pieces pretty soon after FIFA unveiled how they were going to sell tickets. A lottery system. Yes, FIFA was going to use luck to determine who gets to buy tickets to the game, unless you were planning on buying super expensive travel packages. So that's bad enough, pretty much making it inevitable that a bunch of tickets would end up being resold for higher prices to people who didn't get picked. But then the prices were revealed...

So tickets to the World Cup have been getting more expensive over time; that's not surprising, but what is surprising is how much more expensive they got this time around. Just to put a comparison to the last World Cup, the final game in the 2022 World Cup started at around 200$, and the final game of this year's World Cup starts at 2000$. You're telling me in just 4 years the cheapest final ticket went up by 1800$? How is that even possible? They did end up adding some affordable, cheap seats for less than 100$, but again, it was up to you to win a lottery to gain access to those tickets. If you didn't gain access, well then, it's up to the resale market, and that is a nightmare. I mean, if you were planning on seeing any of the home teams like the USA, Mexico, or Canada, then you'll have to spend even more money because those are very hard to find at a good price. Basically, the more popular the team, the worse the tickets are. 

The prices got so bad that even players started speaking out against FIFA for how much they were charging for the games. One of the American players, Tim Weah, gave a comment about how ridiculous the prices are. This led the Team USA coach to rant in an interview, telling his players to stop talking about prices and focus on the game. Basically, the old shut up and dribble argument. God forbid players actually give their opinions on the World Cup and FIFA. 

Ticket prices are just one big flaw in the upcoming World Cup; the other big one is the current administration of the United States. Trump and his buddies have been making jokes over the last year about deporting fans who come to watch their teams play, so that's pretty fucked up. I mean, the landscape here has been so hostile towards immigrants since Trump took office again. I think that has really affected how many people actually want to travel from different countries to see their home teams play in the USA. Why travel around the world to a country that doesn't even want you here, or will give you trouble for just visiting? That, on top of paying more than ever to get into a game, can't be very encouraging for fans who usually travel to the World Cup.

The last few weeks, the USA has started a new war with Iran, which is certainly complicating a lot of different things in the World Cup right now. First thing is the fact that Iran itself has already qualified for the World Cup, so that's a big problem when the host country is actively at war with you. I mean, I guess maybe Iran could possibly play in Canada or Mexico instead if that's even an option. That, and a lot of the countries in the Middle East, could potentially be compromised and not have a way to travel to the USA if this war lasts until the summer. Iraq has already tried to postpone a game, as they have a playoff match in late March that could be difficult to get to with the ongoing war in  Iran, especially with Iraq being between both Israel and Iran geographically. It's sad because Iraq is actually a good team, and they are the favorites to win this playoff match and make it to the World Cup officially. 

So the World Cup is going to be a big mess this summer, and it's already had so many problems even before it's started. With terrible pricing shutting out normal fans, teams that are in danger of missing out due to current events, and a host country that's currently hostile to many participating countries, it's all set to be one of the worst World Cup events in recent memory. Look, it may all work out in the end, and all the countries that qualified could make it and play, and the tournament could end up being a lot of fun. Even if that somehow happens, it doesn't mean we should forget the way FIFA has acted the last few years leading up to this World Cup, and all the greed that's taken over the biggest sports event in the world. FIFA has let greed ruin any good reputation the World Cup has by accepting bribes from host countries and shutting out many fans by pricing them out. Can't forget what happened last time with Qatar, and soon to happen in Saudi Arabia at the 2034 World Cup. And can’t forget to mention them giving Trump a peace prize he totally deserved. Not like he’s starting wars for no reason the last month or anything. That’s what peace is all about though right? Hating immigrants and bombing innocent civilians! Idiots. 

If you don't know by now: FIFA SUCKS. And so does Trump. Two evils meant for each other, I guess. 

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The One Where I review Season 2 of FRIENDS

Season 2 of Friends aired all the way back in 1995! It's been a little over 30 years now since the show started its run in 1994; they even had a reunion recently in 2021 on the MAX. Friends became a huge hit after its first season, so needless to say, the second season came in with high expectations. I think we all know how that turns out, but I'll be going through every episode of season 2 and giving some thoughts and a grade based on how good the episode was. 

SEASON 2

The One With Ross' New Girlfriend: Season 1 ended with Rachel coming to pick up Ross at the airport to confess her feelings for him. The episode right away spoils that moment by introducing Julie, his new girlfriend. Julie is a great character, and honestly, it kind of sucks that she's just used as a plot device to keep Ross and Rachel away from each other for a little longer. In the end, the show wants you to see Ross and Rachel, so it makes sense that she's not in here for very long. The other stories involve haircuts and suits. Phoebe gives Joey and Chandler haircuts, and Monica gets mad because she doesn't want to give her one, too. Phoebe eventually does, but of course, gives her the completely wrong cut, and Monica's life is ruined. The other, not-so-good story has Chandler being violated by Joey's tailor, and it's... weird. Chandler getting his haircut so soon into the season sucks. I really like his season 1 hair. RIP Chandler's hair. 

"Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck, fantastic?" - Rachel

GRADE: B-

The One With the Breast Milk: The Rachel vs Julie story continues here, as Monica becomes friends with Julie, and this makes Rachel jealous. Rachel eventually tries to make peace with Julie, but Rachel won't stop being jealous of her, despite not completely hating her anymore. The other story has Ross being weirded out by everyone trying the breast milk that's for Ben. It's not that funny, but Ross' acting somehow makes it work better than it should. Joey starts working at a department store, handing out cologne samples, but is being outshone by a guy in a cowboy outfit. BIJAN FOR MEN! It's a silly one, but it works as a small side story for Joey. He looks good dressed as a cowboy. 

"If you blow into one side, does the other get bigger?"  - Joey to Carol while she breastfeeds

GRADE: C+

The One Where Heckle Dies: I actually really like this episode. Mr. Heckles had a few appearances in the first season that were great, but he died pretty early in season 2, just three episodes in. This episode is great for Chandler, as he really sees himself in Heckles when looking through his old photos and yearbook. I like how Chandler becomes afraid of becoming Heckles in the future and decides to give Janice a shot, someone who actually wants to be with him. It's a great twist when Janice shows up pregnant and married. None of the other stories come close to this, but we get to see Monica and Rachel argue about a lamp, so that's... fun?

"GO INTO THE LIGHT, MR. HECKLES!!!" - Phoebe

GRADE: B+

The One With Phoebe's Husband: We get a nice Phoebe story here, when her husband comes back wanting a divorce. Turns out they got married for a green card, but he was gay, so the feelings Phoebe had for him were never returned in the same way. Well, it turns out he's not gay and is marrying another woman. This is the second time we really see Phoebe having strong romantic feelings for someone, the first one being David in season 1. Poor Phoebe can't catch a break. There's also a fun bit where we see Joey in a porno as a background extra. Really, the most interesting moment in this is Rachel trying to stop Ross from finally having sex with Julie, especially the last scene where she has this very sensual moment with Ross, and he just leaves to be with Julie. Rough. Don't worry, Rachel, you'll be making love to Ross in the cavemen exhibit in just a few more episodes. 

"Hang on, the guy's butt is blocking me. There I am. There I am. There I am." - Joey on his cameo in the porno film

GRADE: B+

The One With the Five Steak and an Eggplant: This episode is actually really interesting in the way it splits the group apart. The friends struggle to find a balance between going out to expensive places and including the other friends who can't afford those luxuries. There's an interesting argument in the second half of the episode when Chandler, Ross, and Monica buy dinner and concert tickets to the "poorer" friends, Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey.  The "poorer" friends are insulted by this gift and reject it, and it's interesting to see a nice gesture be completely wasted. I like the fact that both sides make good points anyway, and you can see where everyone is coming from. On the other story, we get Chandler pretending to be a guy named "Bob" to manipulate a beautiful woman to get with him. A bit weird, but it backfires when she admits that Chandler is not a very good lover. Chandler's love life keeps getting worse and worse... but not for long? 

"What are these, like famous chickens?" - Joey, complaining about the expensive food at a restaurant

GRADE: B-

The One With the Baby on the Bus: Right away, we get a great gag where Ben cries anytime he's near Monica. There are also a lot of funny scenes with Ross having to speak with a swollen tongue. Chandler and Joey agree to watch Ben after Ross has an allergic reaction to KIWI! They, of course, decide to use Ben to pick up girls in the city. After meeting some hot girls on a bus, they accidentally leave Ben on said bus, and chaos ensues. I love how they only realize it's the right baby they found when he starts crying when Monica gets near him. We also get a nice story with Phoebe and Rachel, where the coffee shop hires a professional musician over Phoebe. We see guest star Chrissie Hynde as the musician, who is a punk icon famous for founding The Pretenders, so that's cool. We also see a quick cameo from the actor who would eventually play Phoebe's brother in the next season. 

"What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday party?" -Chandler

GRADE: B+

The One Where Ross Finds Out: This is the episode where everything finally happens between Rachel and Ross. Rachel accidentally leaves Ross a drunken message admitting her feelings for him, and he listens to it right in front of her. Obviously, being with Julie means Ross can't be with Rachel... or you would think anyway. He ends up cheating on her later in the episode when he finally kisses Rachel. Monica decided to help Chandler lose some weight, only to make him more miserable by never leaving him alone. Chandler is forced to make Monica feel terrible about herself and her own life so she can leave him alone. Maybe there was a less mean way to handle that?

"You're over me? When were you... under me?" - Ross

GRADE: B-

The One With the List: I really love the whole "Mockolate" story in this episode. Monica finds a job where she has to create recipes with a terrible chocolate substitute, and they all taste awful because "Mockolate" is a terrible product. It all goes nowhere when she finds out the product has already been cancelled. Really though, the main story here is a continuation of the last episode, where Ross has to choose between Rachel and Julie. The boys all make a list for Ross with pros and cons for each girl, but ultimately Ross wants to be with Rachel. Everything falls apart when Rachel finds the list they made and decides she no longer wants to be with Ross. I will say I was always kind of bothered by this, mostly because Ross was in a tough position and was trying to find a way to figure out what to do. He also had a sweet thing at the end where he says the con about Julie is that she's not Rachel, but this is ruined by a typo, and it's completely missed. Guess they just wanted to stretch out the story a bit longer, but I think they do a good job later at making up for this. 

"Oh no! Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet is too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are TOO TIGHT!" - Chandler on Ross having to choose between two women

GRADE: B-

The One With Phoebe's Dad: The episode starts with a great gag as Phoebe thinks her dad is the guy who comes in all the stock pictures in frames. She finds out that not only is he not him, but he's actually living in the area, so she wants to meet him. This is the first episode where Phoebe's cab is introduced; it becomes a staple of the show as a silly car with as many quirks as Phoebe herself. There's also a Christmas Party happening at Monica's place, but her heater is broken, so everyone is overheating at the party. Ross and Rachel continue to deal with the fallout of "the list", but Rachel wants nothing to do with Ross. There's a great joke at the end where Chandler and Joey give all the friends gifts from a gas station since they couldn't make it to the mall with Phoebe. 

"How have you not been on Oprah?" - Rachel to Phoebe 

GRADE: C+

The One With Russ: Rachel starts dating a Ross doppelganger named Russ. Maybe the joke is too obvious, and honestly, this idea probably shouldn't work, but the performance by David Schwimmer playing the bizarro version of himself is too good. The makeup department did a good job at making him actually look like a different actor playing the part, as well as David adding enough differences to make it believable. It's also a nice way show the audience that Rachel still does want to be with Ross by being with someone exactly like him. This is also the episode where Joey gets his start on Days of Our Lives, which becomes an important part of the rest of the season. Monica also gets "Fun" Bobby to stop drinking, and he becomes the most boring man alive. Really fun scenes where Bobby is just talking about hardware stores not open at night, and everyone looks miserable. 

"They're as different as night and... later that night" - Monica on Ross and Russ

GRADE: A-

The One With the Lesbian Wedding: I suppose in the mid 90's, when this aired, it would have been seen as pretty progressive to have a whole lesbian wedding on a popular show. Now this isn't even a thing, but I still think it's cool that the show did this back then. Apparently, this episode was banned in Texas because of the wedding and Texas being what it was back then. We also get Phoebe getting possessed by an older woman who died on her massage table, which has its moments. The scene where the widower husband shows up and tries to sleep with Phoebe is funny, and of course, the line "Now I've seen everything" after attending the lesbian wedding. Rachel's mother makes her first appearance on the show and tells Rachel she wants to leave her father. Rachel's parents are great on the show when they appear, and it's really funny when she asks for "marijuana".

"Tell me if this is too cute: lesbian wedding - chicken breasts" -Monica deciding what to cook for the wedding. 

GRADE: C+

The One After the Super Bowl Pts 1 & 2: The second two-parter of the series features a bunch of great guest stars, including Jean-Claude Van Damme, Julia Roberts, and Brooke Shields. The two episodes revolve around Marcel the Monkey returning as Ross sees him in a commercial and decides to check in on the zoo where he left him last season. There, he meets a very funny custodian who tells him Marcel was sent to Hollywood to make movies. It's honestly one of the funniest scenes of the season, watching Ross interact with the zoo janitor who is monologing about the animals instead of talking to him. Chandler meets his old classmate, played by Julia Roberts, who tricks him into wearing women's underwear and steals his clothes. Another really funny gag, where Joey and Ross make fun of him as he hides in a bathroom stall. Joey dates Brooke Shields' character, who thinks his character on Days of Our Lives is actually a real person. Brooke Shields' performance is great, and she plays the crazy stalker really well. The scene where she starts to lick Joey's hands aggressively should be creepy, but somehow still makes me laugh. The weakest story here, though, is Monica and Rachel competing over who gets to date Jean-Claude. Feels like a retread of last season's two-parter where they fought each other, except this time it feels more forced. Maybe it's because Jean-Claude just doesn't really do much here, especially compared to all the other guest stars. Phoebe gets a fun story where she sings to kids at a library, but her songs are too honest and make the adults mad, even though the kids love it. 

"And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard!" -Chandler to "Dr. Drake Ramoray." 

GRADE: A

The One With the Prom Video: One of, if not the most memorable episode of the season for many reasons. The main thing is Ross and Rachel finally get together after a season and a half of buildup and the whole Julie saga from earlier in the season. The other big thing from this one is the first flashback we see of the friends. Well, only like half the friends appear in the flashback, but it's still a fun one as we see Monica wearing the fat suit for the first time and Ross with his terrible 80s hair and mustache. We also get the iconic Phoebe line, "She's your lobster". The entire episode is building to the moment we've been waiting for since the start of the show, Ross and Rachel kiss, and finally start their romance officially. Maybe it's weird that Rachel forgives Ross because of something he did a decade ago, but it's a sweet moment, and you really feel for Ross when he gets left behind by Rachel and her prom date. We also get Joey giving Chandler a gold bracelet that repels women. I always love Chandler's reaction to first getting it. 

"Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds" - Monica

"So how many cameras are actually on you?" - Chandler

GRADE: A

The One Where Ross and Rachel... You Know: Yes, Ross and Rachel finally get it on. Ross gives Rachel the bone, and I'm not talking about dinosaurs. Roar. So Ross is trying to take Rachel on their first date, but things keep getting in the way. They end up meeting at the Museum Ross works at and doing it in one of the exhibits. The other important event of this episode is Monica reconnecting with Richard, one of her dad's friends growing up, and that romance begins. I always loved Tom Selleck as Richard in this show; he's super charming and fits in perfectly with the rest of the cast. Even though the romance is a bit weird, considering he was an adult when she was a child, it's still one of the most memorable relationships on the show. There's also a funny gag where Joey and Chandler sit on their new recliners the entire episode. 

"No! No! Homo habilis was erect! Australopithecus was never fully erect!" Ross

"Well, maybe he was nervous" - Chandler

GRADE: A-

The One Where Joey Moves Out: With Joey's new role on Days of Our Lives, he's finally making good money. When a friend tells him he's selling his fancy apartment, Joey is interested in moving out. It's cute how Chandler is immediately jealous and doesn't want Joey to leave, but can't admit it to him. Instead, they get into a fight, and Joey leaves. Monica and Richard are starting to date, but they have to go to Monica's dad's birthday together and don't want him to find out about their romance. Of course, he does find out and wants to kill Richard, but it works out. There's a funny scene where Monica is stuck hiding in the shower while her parents get it on. Awkward. We also get an okay story where Rachel and Pheebs get tattoos, but Pheebs is too afraid, even though it was her idea. I'd say I like the Monica and Richard story, but everything else in this episode is just okay.

GRADE: B-

The One Where Eddie Moves In: Here, we see the introduction of Eddie, played by Adam Goldberg. One of the funnier side characters on the show, as he slowly gets crazier in each episode he appears in. Joey is jealous of Eddie taking his place as the roommate, increasing the tension between Joey and Chandler. There's a great scene where Joey and Chandler want to call each other but decide not too. Heartbreaking stuff. With Ross dating Rachel, it also means he's spending way more time in Monica's apartment. They end up fighting and arguing like they are kids again, which annoys Rachel. Some of the best Friends episodes are ones that revolve around the Gellar siblings, and this one is good. Ross tricking Monica into thinking it's Richard on the phone when it's really their mom is great. Another fun story is Phoebe making a music video for her song "Smelly Cat". I always like the scene where she watches the video for the first time and thinks she's the one actually singing. 

"Oh, I am sorry, but I am incredibly talented." - Phoebe, when she hears the dubbed voice for her song

GRADE: A-

The One Where Dr. Drake Ramoray Dies: Joey pisses off the writers of his show in an interview, and they end up killing his character off, which leads to him not having money to afford his new lifestyle. Chandler's new roommate, Eddie, starts to scare Chandler with his obsession with his ex-girlfriend. Eddie thinks Chandler is sleeping with her and later accuses him of stealing his fish, which is pretty hilarious. The scene where Eddie gets a new fish, and it's just a goldfish cracker, is great. Monica and Rachel also argue about who is going to get the last condom as they both want to sleep with their significant others. Not the best one, but I do love Ross doing his weird animal sounds. 

"You're saying nothing between us is 'animal' at all? Not even a little 'animal', not even like chipmunk sex?" - Ross to Rachel, when comparing him to Paulo in bed

GRADE: C+

The One Where Eddie Won't Go: Chandler can't find a way to get rid of Eddie, as Eddie keeps getting weirder and more intense. Joey has to move out of his new apartment after all his new stuff gets repossessed. We get the introduction to the weird dog statue as Ross buys it for Joey as a way to cheer him up. Eventually, Joey moves back in with Chandler, and they trick Eddie into thinking he never lived there, which somehow works. Maybe Eddie should have gotten his own spinoff, but oh well. The ladies read a new female empowerment book that's trending, and they end up fighting with each other more than being empowered. There's a great scene where Rachel tells Ross, "How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow!" and Ross responds, "You know I have no problem with that."

"This is why I don't date women who read" - Joey to Ross, after Rachel reads the empowerment book

GRADE: B

The One Where Old Yeller Dies: Phoebe finds out her mom would turn off movies that had a sad ending early to protect her. So she watches all the movies to see the real endings and becomes depressed. I love the scene at the end of the episode where she's watching Sesame Street with Ben. The best part of the episode is Joey and Chandler trying to be like Richard after they hang out with him at a Knicks game. Chandler with the stache is too good for this world. The reveal at the end of the episode, where they end up calling Richard a father figure, is really funny too.  There's also a nice relationship moment with Ross and Rachel, where she freaks out at him when he tells her he has their whole future planned out already. 

"What kind of sick, doggy snuff film is this?" Phoebe, while watching the end of Old Yeller

GRADE: B

The One With the Bullies: This one is a bit meh. Ross and Chandler have to deal with some bullies who take Chandler's hat. It eventually leads to a fight that never happens, and the bullies end up teaming up with Ross and Chandler after someone steals their things. It's not bad, but I do like the scene where they are about to fight and keep adding new rules. Monica gets into stocks, and it's not that interesting, but we do get to see her at the Moondance job for the first time in the show, with her iconic costume. The best part of this one is the introduction of Frank Jr. Phoebe wants to meet her dad, but ends up meeting her half-brother Frank Jr instead. I love Giovanni Ribisi's portrayal of Frank Jr, as he is one of the funnier side characters in the show, and this is just his first appearance, and he already steals the show. 

"Have you been beaten up before?" - Joey

"Yeah, sure" - Ross

"By someone besides Monica" - Joey

"No" - Ross

GRADE: C+

The One With the Two Parties: One of the best episodes of the season. The friends are throwing a birthday party for Rachel, but things go sideways when Rachel's dad, Mr. Greene, shows up. Rachels' dad and mom can't be in the same room because they are going through a tough divorce, so the friends throw two separate parties to keep the parents away from each other. Ron Leibman plays Mr. Greene, and he's always one of the highlights of the show when he appears. His relationship with Ross is always hilarious, as he always seems unimpressed by Ross, no matter how hard Ross tries. The other funny part of this episode is everyone trying to escape Monica's party to go to Joey's and Chandler's more fun party next door. Phoebe sneaking people over behind Monica's back is a great touch. 

"Ah! You're having a PAR-TEEEE" - Mr. Greene, don't know why this one always gets me. But there's a funnier quote, so I have to put two for this episode.

"And because you're both, you know, white women" - Phoebe on why they confused Rachel's mom for Rachel. 

GRADE: A+

The One With the Chicken Pox: Phoebe's special friend Ryan comes into town while he's on break from the NAVY. Played by the lovely and not controversial Charlie Sheen, who does a good job in this episode. Their plans are foiled when they both get chicken pox and have to spend the entire week without touching each other or scratching. This leads to a fun scene where Monica tapes oven mitts to their hands, and they sensually scratch each other. I also realized that up to this point, Phoebe and Joey are the only characters who haven't had a relationship that lasted more than one episode on screen. Poor Joey doesn't get much in that department. Monica and Richard have some development in their romance, as Richard finds out about some of Monica's quirks, but Monica is annoyed that Richard doesn't have any of his own. We also get Joey working with Chandler and inventing a work persona to fit in with all the other office workers. This leads to a funny scene where Chandler has an affair with Joey's fake wife, who doesn't actually exist. 

"I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing!" Monica on Richard not having a quirk

"See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well there." Richard

GRADE: C

The One With Barry and Mindy's Wedding: Oh boy, an episode with Barry. If you read my season one review, you know I hate the Barry character and don't want to see him on screen. As far as season finales go, this one is a bit weird. Usually, season finales are a big event in Friends; even last season had Rachel finding out about Ross' feelings for her. This season ending on a big wedding for two characters that don't really matter to the show is a choice. I guess it serves to put a bow on the Rachel and Barry relationship, once and for all. Also, it's meant to give Rachel a nice moment of growth as she overcomes all the harassment she faces at the wedding from Barry's friends. Eh, I still don't really like it, and it probably would have been better to just never see Barry again. The biggest moment from this episode is Richard telling Monica he doesn't want kids again, and it leads to their eventual breakup. It was pretty shocking the first time watching it and still pretty surprising now, but it makes sense that their age difference finally caught up to them. Chandler falls in love with a woman on the internet and wants to finally meet her in person. I remember how shocking it was to see Janice revealed as the woman, and they have a sweet moment together, as Chandler finally wants to be with Janice for good. They set up some good storylines for next season here. It's good, but Barry sucks. 

"Are you the cutest?" - Phoebe 

"I'm afraid I might just be" - Chandler

GRADE: B-

A very strong season that took all the good from the first season and made it better. All the actors are fully into their characters, and the writing is just really good. We got some great relationship moments with Ross and Rachel, and Monica and Richard. Chandler is even funnier than last season, and his friendship with Joey is even better now. Honestly, I'm curious to see when Joey starts to transform from his charming street-smart guy to the guy who struggles with anything that's more than just basic knowledge. The guest stars were also a lot better in this season, with the clear standout being Tom Selleck's Richard. We get to see a lot more of Ribisi's Frank Jr. in the next few seasons, so that's exciting too.

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The Rise of Latin Music in the USA

Latin music has had a place in the popular music zeitgeist for decades now, but it really wasn't until the 90s that it exploded into the pop charts in the USA. Artists like Ricky Martin, Shakira, Enrique Iglesias, and the legendary Selena were a huge part of the Latin music boom of the 1990s. The success of those artists would continue into the 2000s as new artists and genres emerged in the Latin music scene, and they would continue to find huge success in the charts here. 

In 2004, Puerto Rican artist Daddy Yankee would open the doors for a new genre with his iconic song "Gasolina." The rise of Reggaeton in the early 2000s was the next big step for Latin music after the pop music of the 90s was starting to fade away. Reggaeton was a game-changer for not just Latin music but music worldwide as a whole. The genre had existed for a few decades, finding its start in Panama. Here in the USA, though, we saw the rise of artists like Don Omar, Pitbull, and Wisin & Yandel help the reggaeton genre keep rising in popularity in the 2000s. This is all important to what would eventually come in the 2020s. But, before that, reggaeton had its time in the spotlight for a few years before it went away for a short time. Like with all trends in music, things eventually become oversaturated, and the genre slowly loses its popularity. 

Enter the 2010s, and we get a new style of Latin music called Urbano that starts to take off in the charts, and that's the more pop-sounding tropical Latin songs with some reggaeton elements still in there. The biggest hit from this came when Daddy Yankee teamed up with Luis Fonsi to make the song of the summer in "Despacito". You also had artists like J Balvin, Nicky Jam, and, of course, Bad Bunny start to take off around this time. Lots of mainstream artists outside of the genre were also trying to use this "urbano" style to get hits, too. We saw the likes of Beyoncé, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, and Drake all try to ride the wave of popularity and were mostly successful in doing so. 

All this leads to the current decade of the 2020s, where things are certainly changing. The whole "urbano" movement ran into the ground by this point, with all the artists trying to ride its popularity like I mentioned, so things needed to go in a different direction for Latin music. Enter Bad Bunny. In 2020, he released the album "YHLQMDLG", and it helped shift Latin music in a new direction. A return to the more club-centric style of reggaeton, with perreo. The album was a huge success for Bad Bunny, and it would eventually lead to his most successful album yet, a few years later. "Un Verano Sin Ti" was the album that took over streaming and launched Bad Bunny into superstardom across the world. It was his most ambitious project yet, and the experimentation in his music paid off, as it was hugely successful and was even a nominee for best album at the Grammys. Latin music in the 2020s has really promoted more experimental sounds and different genres, not that it wasn't happening before this, but it feels like more artists are being recognized from the Latin music world here in the USA. I mean, Bad Bunny just performed at the biggest televised event of the year in the USA, so that should tell you something. More artists are getting that kind of spotlight now, and it should just be the start.

Talking about modern Latin music and its rising stars, I figured I could mention a few projects here from the last few years that are standouts and worth checking out if you want to dive into some new music. 

The Marias: Submarine

A band that has music in both English and Spanish. They started getting big in the early 2020s, but it wasn't until "Submarine" came out in 2024 that the band would get their music on the charts. Actually, they did technically have a hit before this with a Bad Bunny collab back in 2022, but I would count that more as a Bad Bunny hit. They were actually just nominated for the Best New Artist Grammy, but didn't end up winning. Still, that's nothing. The album "Submarine" is their best work so far, though it's a great alternative album that really elevates their established sound. It's a more dreampop sound compared to their earlier work, but it really works for them, or at least they make it work better than a lot of other artists in that genre. I'd say anytime you can stand out in a genre that's being oversaturated these days is a big deal. Anyway, go check this album out is what I'm trying to say.

Rosalia: Lux

Is it still Latin music if it's from Spain? I don't know, but I'm going to talk about this album anyway. Rosalia has been around for a decent amount of time now, and she already has some great and well-known albums out there. Last year she released her newest album called "Lux," and it was... well, it was way different than I would have thought. Rosalia wanted to create an album that wasn't just full of earworm choruses and catchy tunes, but one that could really challenge the listener and bring out deeper emotions. It's without a doubt her most ambitious album to date, but also possibly one of the most ambitious albums ever made by someone in her position. Certainly didn't play it safe with this one, but the risk paid off and she accomplished exactly what she set out to do. The album still has a few pop-friendly songs, especially in "La Perla." But then there are tracks like "Sexo, Violencia y Llantas" that have heavy classical influence and deeper lyrics that continue throughout the rest of the album. Lots of religious imagery/references really help paint a picture along with the music. It's a challenging album, but one that deserves a listen. 

Natalia Lafourcade: De Todas Las Flores

Following the last album by Rosalia, we get another album heavily influenced by music of the past in "De Todas Las Flores" by Mexican artist Natalia Lafourcade. Seriously, one of the most beautiful albums of the decade (so far). Natalia has a special way of drawing in listeners with her amazing vocals and beautiful lyricism that often feels like a warm hug in the form of a song. If you just want to relax on a beautiful day, this album is perfect to just put on and enjoy. Really, Natalia is just great at putting emotions into all her music, and you can always feel what she feels through her vocals, even if you didn't understand Spanish. But if you do, then you are rewarded with beautiful lyrics from a great songwriter. 

Jean Dawson - Rock A Bye Baby, Glimmer of God

I've been really into Jean Dawson as of late. Jean is a Mexican-American artist who has been around the music scene for getting close to a decade now. He's known for his experimental sounds and always trying new things with his music. His latest project, "Rock A Bye Baby," was another really good one with elements of many different genres like pop, rock, R&B, trap, and more. I can't say it always works perfectly, but I'd say more often than not it does. He does a great job at injecting those genres with his own style to make them fit into his projects. Even though there's plenty of experimenting, nothing sounds out of place, and the album is cohesive. I just want to shout out more artists who are willing to keep trying new things and making them work. 

Well, those are a few albums you can check out if you've never heard them before. Not that they were hidden gems or anything, as all those artists have a good following, but in case you didn't, I would recommend listening to them. I look forward to seeing how Latin music keeps innovating not just in the Latin music world, but the entire music world as a whole. Who knows where else it could go from here, but I'd say it can only get bigger. 

                                                      

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The One Where I Review Every Episode of FRIENDS For No Reason (season 1)

 I recently started my latest rewatch of the beloved series Friends, and I thought it would be a dumb idea to review every episode of Friends ever. So yeah, here goes nothing. I doubt I have to explain Friends before I begin this, but I'd like to at least say that this is probably the show I've watched the most in my life, as I've rewatched the series from start to finish multiple times, as well as just watching random episodes on cable every weekday afternoon back when cable was a thing we still had. It's a series that just brings lots of comfort to me, as spending time with the friends just feels relaxing and nostalgic. So here goes the longest post I'll probably ever make and probably the last one as this will be so much work that I'll never want to do this again. Maybe. 

SEASON 1

The Pilot: A very solid episode to start a new series and introduce everyone in the main cast. It's always fun to see how much changes with all six friends from this episode to the last. It's actually almost jarring how different some of them are compared to where they end up in season 10. Right away, you pick up on a few qualities of the main cast, like Phoebe's eccentric personality and beliefs, or Chandler's constant jokes and one-liners. Probably the most important thing this episode does is establish Ross' feelings for Rachel, which ends up being the main story arc throughout this season. I also think Joey might be gay? (kidding)

"Sometimes I wish I was a Lesbian" - Chandler

GRADE: C+

The One With the Sonogram at the End: This episode really establishes the Gellar family dynamics, with Ross being the favorite and Monica being the one who's always being scrutinized by their parents. It's a long-running joke in the series, especially in the first few seasons, that Monica's mom is always finding something wrong with Monica, usually with her appearance. The other big reveal is Ross' ex-wife being pregnant with his child, another story that runs throughout the first season. Also, one of the few episodes (maybe the only one?) where Ross' wife Carol is played by Anita Barone before she is recast. Another decent early episode. Before I forget, it's also the first time we get an ugly naked guy joke, another long-running gag in the series. 

"Are we still talking about sex?" - Joey

GRADE: C

The One With the Thumb: The best part about this episode is Monica's new boyfriend, Alan, whom the friends become obsessed with. Leads to a lot of funny moments, like Chandler only quitting smoking because of Alan. The reveal that Alan actually can't stand Monica's friends is great. The other big story is Phoebe finding a thumb in her soda and getting 7000 dollars from the company. It shows more of Phoebe's character and how she doesn't really care for possessions, as she tries her best to get rid of the money, but only keeps getting more and more free stuff. Not too bad, it's getting better as the cast starts to really become their characters. 

"Maybe it's a contest, like collect all five" - Chandler on the thumb in the soda

GRADE: C+

The One With George Stephanopoulos: This is a fun episode because we get to see the guys and girls split up the whole time. The guys go to a hockey game, but Ross gets hit in the face by a puck, so they take him to the hospital. We see a lot more of their dynamic, and I think it's a great episode for Chandler as he really stands out with his comedic bits here. On the other side, the girls end up spying on celebrity George Stephanopoulos from the balcony. There are some nice character moments as we learn more about their past, and it's just nice to see all the interactions between the friends and we get to see more of their personalities. 

"Who's FICA? Why is he getting all my money?" - Rachel

GRADE: B-

The One With the East German Laundry Detergent: This episode really helps build the romance between Ross and Rachel, as they spend a lot of the episode with each other. This is also the first appearance of the fan favorite Janice, who is always in an on-off relationship with Chandler and always makes for great episodes when they are together. The weaker story here is Monica and Joey trying to break a couple up, which leads to a lot of weird incest jokes and doesn't really end up going anywhere. Another decent episode held back by that last story.

"Uberweiss! It's Strong, It's German, It's extra Tough" - Ross

GRADE: C

The One With the Butt: This one features Joey singing in one of the weirder scenes in the series. My favorite part of this one is Chandler's romance with Aurora, a beautiful woman he meets at Joey's play. The twist is she's already married, so Chandler is just one of her lovers out of many. It's nice to see Chandler is willing to give up a no-strings-attached relationship with a beautiful woman because he really wants something more serious, which shows how different he is compared to Joey. This episode also really establishes Monica's clean freak personality as she freaks out after Rachel tries to clean the apartment, which is another great moment. 

"ALL YOU WANT IS A DINGLE" -Joey singing in his awful play

GRADE: B

The One With the Blackout: One of the more memorable episodes of this season. We are introduced to the Italian Stallion, Paolo, who is used as an obstacle between Ross and Rachel's potential romance. More importantly, it's also the introduction to Mr. Heckles, who is a funny side character that doesn't really get enough time on the show. The last thing is Chandler getting stuck at an "ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre." It's another little story showing how charming Chandler can be, even at his lamest. 

"Gum would be perfection" -Chandler, trying to flirt with Jill

GRADE: B+

The One Where Nana Dies Twice: Eh, I always kind of disliked this one. It's got some decent jokes, but overall, it's not the best episode for any character or story. The few moments I liked were Ross finding Nana's Sweet N' Low stash in her closet, Ross falling into the empty grave, and Ross getting high off of meds. So a good episode for Ross, really. Also, this is the first episode where they really focus on the "everyone thinks Chandler is gay" thing, which is a joke that comes up a few times after this episode. Not great.

"You have a quality" - Monica to Chandler

GRADE: D+

The One Where Underdog Gets Away: Another not-so-great episode, but the first Thanksgiving episode of the series. In this one, everyone is forced to spend Thanksgiving at Monica's place for one reason or another. Everyone wants Monica to make a special dish for them, and it's annoying. Rachel wants to go skiing with her family, but can't afford it. The funniest part of this episode is Joey posing for a health poster that's posted everywhere in the city, so everyone thinks he has V.D. Not terrible, but as far as Thanksgiving episodes go, this might be the worst?

"Shoop, shoop, shoop" -Rachel 

GRADE: C-

The One With the Monkey: We are introduced to Marcel the Monkey, who is a big part of this first season. I'd imagine having a monkey on set wasn't the easiest thing to do, so Marcel isn't a part of the show for long, but he does come back in a later season for a last appearance. The most memorable part of this episode is the one-off appearance by David, whom Phoebe falls in love with instantly. It's a very short and sweet story contained in one episode, but Hank Azaria does such a good job that it kind of sucks he doesn't stick around a little longer. Well, we all know he comes back one more time much later in the show, but you know what I mean. The episode ends with Joey kissing Chandler. 

"Hey! That monkey's got a Ross on his ass." -Chandler

GRADE: B

The One with Mrs. Bing: We are introduced to Chandler's mom, who is always amazing when she appears in this show. This is the first episode where two of the main friends get into a real conflict, as Ross kisses Chandler's mom when he's depressed about Rachel dating Paolo. That's really the only good story in this episode, as the other stories involve Monica and Phoebe helping a guy who's in a coma they both fall in love with, and Rachel tries to write erotica. Nothing amazing. Chandler is extra funny in this one, but that quickly becomes the norm in this show. The relationship between Chandler and his parents is interesting too, because they seem to love him a lot, but I guess the trauma from his childhood keeps him at a distance from them. 

"...his huge, throbbing pens? You don't want to be around when he starts writing with those" - Ross on Rachel's erotic novel 

GRADE: C

The One With a Dozen Lasagnas: The episode starts off great with the cast humming The Odd Couple theme song. The rest of the episode has a few memorable moments, with Paolo making a move on Phoebe and Joey and Chandler getting their famous foosball table. The episode ends with Ross finding out he's having a boy, and it's sweet. I don't know why, but I always find Monica giving Paolo a lasagna after Rachel breaks up with him extra funny. 

"AND we're done with the yogurt." -Ross, when Pheebs tells him some people eat placenta

GRADE: B-

The One With the Boobies: This is a meh episode that features a lot of storylines I don't really care too much about. The two big stories are Joey's dad having an affair and Phoebe dating a psychiatrist whom everyone hates. It's not great, but I guess it's nice to meet Joey's family here, even though I don't really remember them being in the show much after this. The whole gag where all the friends are trying to see each other naked isn't the best either. I guess it's good to see Joey act like the adult in the room compared to his dad, but then realizing that he's actually just messing up a good thing for his mom is a nice, honest look at relationships. 

"Why can't parents stay parents? You know? Why do they have to become people?" - Rachel

GRADE: D

The One With the Candy Hearts: This episode is decent; the best part is when Ross and Carol have a nice moment alone, and we catch a glimpse at what their relationship was like before the divorce. On the other hand, you have a decent setup where Chandler is surprised by a blind date who happens to be his ex, Janice. It's always nice seeing Janice, so it's good. The girls spend the night reminiscing on all their terrible exes, and it's also pretty good. It's actually a great episode to learn more about the characters outside of maybe Joey. 

"Is it loaded?" -Chandler's response to Janice saying she has a surprise for him

GRADE: C+

The One With the Stoned Guy: This episode has one of the funniest gags in the first season, maybe the whole show? Jon Lovitz plays the stoned guy who wants to try Monica's food and he's so funny in this episode, one of the best guest appearances on the show. There's also a fun story where Ross is struggling to dirty talk with the girl he's dating, and Ross's performance in this episode is especially funny. If you are a fan of The Office, you'd recognize the actress who plays Jan as Ross' date in this one. 

"Well, smack my ass and call me Judy!" - Steve, the stoned dude

GRADE: A

The One With the Two Parts: The first two-parter of many in this show. It's probably the weakest one on the show that I can remember right now. I dislike the whole Joey dates Phoebe's twin storyline because it feels weird for Joey to do something he knows will hurt Phoebe, and that never really fits his character. Joey is the one who almost always goes out of his way to make his friends happy. Chandler also starts dating an employee he has to fire, which certainly fits his character as the guy who hates confrontation, but it also seems slightly too mean-spirited for Chandler when he starts rumors about her. It's still the best story in this episode, because it's Chandler, and he's the funniest in most episodes. The last big story is Rachel and Monica having to pretend to be each other to get Rachel's health insurance. George Clooney and Noah Wyle guest-star as the doctors whom Rachel and Monica have to trick, and they put on solid performances. There is a nice moment where Ross is scared about becoming a father, but is comforted by his friends and his dad. Actually, that moment where Ross and his dad are talking about the first moment they shared when Ross was born was really nice. 

"Oh my God, I am so spoiled." -Monica pretending to be Rachel

GRADE: C-

The One With All the Poker: Another really great episode. It's always nice when most of the episode features all the friends just hanging out together, this time the girls play poker with the guys for the first time. Monica's Aunt Iris is really funny in this episode, kinda sucks we never see her again. The episode ends up focusing a lot on Rachel and her trying to get one of her dream jobs, but ultimately failing. It's another Ross and Rachel moment that really gets you to root for them to get together, as well as just being a very funny episode. And it's also nice to see Ross humble himself to make Rachel happy, which really makes you root for him. 

"Hey! That's Joincidince with a C!" - Chandler after Pheebs says Joker is Poker with a J

GRADE: A-

The One Where the Monkey Gets Away: Another memorable episode here that furthers the Ross and Rachel story. This time, they get into their first argument when Rachel loses Marcel the Monkey in the apartment building. Mr. Heckles makes another appearance, and he is once again one of the funniest parts of the episode. The end goal of this episode, though, is to tease the audience even more on Ross and Rachel's romance. Feels so close here, and yet we all know it's not happening anytime soon. Phoebe gets shot by a tranq, so that's fun.  

"Whoa! Marcel, did you poo in the shoe?" -Rachel

GRADE: B+

The One With the Evil Orthodontist: Eh, this one isn't that good. Any episode that revolves around Rachel's ex, Barry, is pretty bad. I mean, I know we're not supposed to like Barry, but if they could have just erased his character from the show, that would have been okay. The rest of the stories aren't the best either. I guess maybe the best one is Joey finding out the person spying on them with a telescope is a woman, and he's into it. So Joey. 

"Are you outing Mr. Peanut?" - Ross, after Pheebs calls Mr Peanut gay

GRADE: D

The One With Fake Monica: The main story in this episode, where Monica has her identity stolen, is really good. It's funny to see Monica go through a whole life change as a result of that, and her short friendship with the fake Monica is surprisingly sweet. I will say, the change Monica makes doesn't really seem to carry over to the rest of the show. The other story is good too, and it's all about Ross having to say goodbye to Marcel the Monkey, as he can't take good care of him anymore in his apartment. Funniest thing in this one, though, is Chandler tricking Joey into using the name Joseph Stallin for his auditions. 

"Joey... Switzerland?" -Chandler, when Joey asks for a more neutral-sounding name

GRADE: A-

The One With the Ick Factor: Boy, do I hate Ethan. One of the main stories in this one involves Monica dating a young man named Ethan, who is in College. Turns out they are both lying about their age, and Ethan is actually still in High School. It's not very funny, and I find the Ethan character to be really annoying. Chandler hires Phoebe at his job, but it doesn't go well when Phoebe tells Chandler that everyone hates him. It's funny to see Chandler try his best to be the likable boss, but even funnier that he just embraces the hate at the end. Ross is also jealous of Chandler because Rachel had a sex dream about him, which is... meh. Though it leads to a funnier gag where she dreams about having a threesome with Joey and Chandler, and at times, she's not even involved. 

"MY SCONES!" - Ross and Joey making fun of Chandler

GRADE: C-

The One With the Birth: The first of many birth episodes in the series, and a pretty solid episode. Monica is sad throughout the whole episode because she wants babies, and she feels hopeless in her search for love. It's a nice reminder of Monica's wants, and it comes into play next season in a big way. I really like Joey's side story with Lydia; it's the first time in the show that we see him being really sweet and possibly having a real romantic connection with someone. Sad when it just ends before it even begins. I guess the weakest part of this is the Ross and Susan rivalry, which has been ongoing for the whole season. At least here, we finally get some feelings resolved, and Ross finally makes peace with Susan. 

"MY GOD! THIS PARACHUTE IS A NAPSACK!" -Chandler

GRADE: A-

The One Where Rachel Finds Out: The season finale has some great moments, mostly revolving around the Ross and Rachel romance. Rachel finally finds out that Ross is in love with her, but he leaves for China for a week. It's a nice moment when Rachel finally decides that she wants to be with him, though it ends in a cliffhanger. Chandler's reaction to accidentally telling Rachel about Ross is really good, and the way he acts the rest of the episode is peak Chandler. The other fun story has Joey being unable to have sex with his new girlfriend because of a medical study he joins. This leads to him becoming the most unselfish lover in bed for the first time in his life. It's funny how he doesn't take anything away from this experience and goes back to his normal routine after. 

"You're gonna be making money hand-over-fist!" -Pheebs to Joey 

GRADE: A

Season 1 Thoughts: Like I said before, it's always great to go back to this season and see how different all the characters are compared to the last season. This season feels a lot more chill and toned down than the later seasons in the show. A lot of the characters are still finding their personalities, and the actors are getting used to playing their roles, but they do a really good job in one season of getting you to fall in love with the show. There are a few mediocre episodes, but most of this season is still very good, and it still holds up. I wish Chandler had kept his longer hair for more seasons, but oh well. The Ross and Rachel romance is still good, though maybe doesn't hit as hard when you already know all the things that they are about to go through on this show. Joey is also completely different from season 10, like almost an entirely different person in some ways, but I guess I'll get to that if I ever get to the later seasons. Who knows, I mean, this was just one season, and it took a while to get through this. 

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WE ARE CHARLIE KIRK (and the rise of AI music/art)

The year is 2026. Food comes in pill form and is transformed into 5-star meals with just a drop of water. Cars are flying around the busy cities, using a newly created fuel that's safer and cheaper for the earth and its people. Most diseases have a cure now, and humans on earth are living longer and healthier lives because of it. Artificial Intelligence has made our lives better as it does all the jobs humans don't want to do, and allows humans to focus on creating art. Haha, just kidding, AI is actually creating all the art now, and humans are just trying to create as much AI art as possible to make money from people who can't tell it's not made by a person. Also, all the other stuff hasn't happened yet, and everything is just way more expensive now. 

I poke fun at the year 2026 because back in the 80s and 90s, we all imagined a more Star Trek-like utopia coming in the future, and it's not even close to that. But really, I wanted to talk about all the AI art that's been dominating social media these days and how weird it's making life right now. It's really funny how AI is being used these days to create so much art, when we always imagined it would be used to do all the mundane tasks we hate so that we could have more time to create art ourselves. Instead, people are just spamming prompts into every AI generator to get works of art without actually doing anything. Now, I don't want to completely shit on AI art as a whole, as I'm sure there are good uses for it in art, music, movies, and writing. Maybe as a way to iron out some minor details or add some little details in the background, if you have a small budget for a movie, perhaps? For smaller studios or artist it could be a tool, but for billion-dollar corporations, it's not necessary at all. I mean, we recently saw Coca-Cola using AI for their Christmas ads here, and that's the kind of thing you don't want to see. Coca-Cola 100% has the money to pay artists to actually animate a commercial, so they are just doing it to save money and screw over actual talented workers. That's the kind of use of AI I don't want to see. 

The one thing I never thought we would see, though, is AI making music that not only gets lots of listens, but gets so many listens it goes viral and even charts on Billboard. "We Are Charlie Kirk" was created by the totally real band called "Spalexma." AI couldn't even come up with a good fake band name. What the hell is a Spalexma? Anyway, they are known for such awesome songs as: 

"With Jesus Love America Great Again"

"Stop, in the Name of God" 

and of course, "We Carry The Flame - Powerful Female Mix."

Gotta love a good female mix, that's also powerful. Okay, so clearly this is an AI Christian worship band. Well, not just any Christian worship, but Christian Nationalist American worship. You know, the worst kind of worship. The band has also managed to release about 20+ albums in less than two years, working those AI generators pretty hard. "They" didn't hit it big until they released a track exploiting the murder of Charlie Kirk with the song "We Are Charlie Kirk." The song was probably made just a day after Kirk's murder, but wasn't officially released until 6 days after. It went viral pretty quickly as it was posted across all social media platforms, especially TikTok, which is known for helping songs go viral quickly. It's so obviously AI because, of course, a song like this couldn't be made so quickly after an event occurs. I would imagine a lot of its listens came from people poking fun at it for its exploitation, as well as it sounding like it's meant to be a joke song, when it's actually being 100% serious. It's so weird seeing AI music being used to worship God or honor someone, because obviously, the AI doesn't personally worship a God or know anything about Charlie Kirk outside of the information it's fed on the internet. The song itself (We are Charlie Kirk) isn't even good, especially the vocals that sound so off-putting, just one of the things AI can't really get right at this point. 

That was the first big viral AI hit so far, but there have been lots of artists uncovered on Spotify that are just posting music created by AI generators. Another band called Velvet Sundown admitted that all their music was AI, but this was after a couple of their songs had already gained over a million listens. There are plenty of other AI bands out there on Spotify that have some songs that have reached over a million streams, it's getting pretty crazy. As if streaming didn't make it harder to get discovered as an artist already, now you have to compete with a bunch of AI slop being uploaded to Spotify in mass. I mean, at the end of the day, I think people are going to always want to hear music from actual people and not AI-generated artists. It just won't be the same coming from a computer, and at the moment, all AI music has this eerie quality to it that just makes it hard for most people to connect with. I'm kind of hoping it always stays that way, because I can't imagine how annoying it would be to have AI music that actually sounds completely human-made.

I don't know where this AI slop craze is going to go at this point. I figured it would be tired by now, but it looks like it's still going strong. AI is being abused in a lot of creepy ways, especially on Twitter, with people using GROK to create some pretty disturbing things. That, along with people trying to pass off AI art as their own, leads to a lot of frustration from real artists and people who are being used in AI pictures without their permission or having their art stolen. The soulless music of AI is not as serious as that other stuff, but it's still annoying, and I feel like there should at least be some kind of disclaimer forced on all AI art to let everyone know it wasn't made by an actual artist. Also, maybe stop letting companies that are worth billions cut out actual artists they can totally afford in exchange for that ugly AI art. 

Wait. What if this whole post was written by AI? NOOOOOOOO 

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