7/28/2023

Reviewing the Current Biggest Songs

 It's been a while since I've posted about modern music on here... mostly cause it's been pretty uninteresting this year and has felt pretty stale overall. There have been enough changes recently that I decided to check out the biggest songs in the USA right now and see what's been popular this year and if anything has really changed in 2023 pop music. Well, the short answer to that is yes, things have changed... but not in the way I would have thought. The top four songs in the USA right now are a K-Pop song and three Country songs, which is definitely different. There's also a song from like 4-5 years ago on the charts, one from an artist who recently released two albums and the song that's in the top 10 is from neither of those albums. There's also not a lot of Hip-Hop in the top 10 right now, which also feels strange considering how dominant the genre has been for so long. So I'm going to listen to and review every song in the top 10 right now and see how good they are and how they feel any different than the last few years. 


1. Jung Kook (Ft. Latto) - "Seven"

Jung Kook is one of the hundred BTS members, one that seems to really be breaking out on his own. Nothing makes that more clear than him landing his own number-one hit in the USA in its first week. I thought maybe the K-Pop craze was starting to slow down a bit with BTS going on a break last year. It looks like Jung Kook is keeping all the momentum the band has gotten and has used it to really push his own career until BTS eventually returns. Teaming up with another new star in Latto to make the song "Seven", keeping in the style of BTS. I guess this song is a little more "risque" compared to what BTS was doing in that it's a little more straightforward in its message. Jung Kook will be having lots of sex with you is the message and it's pretty subtle, you might just miss it. The song is mildly catchy, though it's clearly missing the energy that a lot of the other members of BTS usually bring alongside Kook. Still got the fun bass lines and beats, and Kook of course can sing great. I'm not sure if I should appreciate a song like this just tossing subtly out the window and not just finding "clean" ways to say how good they are at sex. A catchy song, but not one I can see myself ever really wanting to listen to again.

SCORE: 2/5 

2. Jason Aldean - "Try That In A Small Town"

This one was rough. I didn't have much knowledge of Jason Aldean before I heard this song and I kind of liked it better when I didn't even know who he was. This song is just a mess in so many ways it would take a short novel to explain it all. It's a boring song musically and Jason Aldean doesn't sing like he actually has any conviction or understanding of what he's saying. That's probably because he didn't even write the song, but also because the song is just lazy pandering to his main audience. Even the guitar solo, if you can call it that, fails to be interesting. 

Really where the main interest lies in the song is the lyrics. The song is clearly trying to gain popularity by feeding into outrage with its not-so-subtle political leanings and trying to upset anyone outside of that lean. Well, it seems to have worked so far because the song did make it all the way to number 2 on the USA charts and would have been 1 if it wasn't for Jung Kook's new single being released at the same time. The obvious joke here is that Aldean isn't even from a small town nor does he live in one currently. But none of that matters, at the end of the day this is just a shit country song from a mediocre artist that really doesn't deserve any outrage or attention, but rather to just be forgotten about by next week like it probably will because everyone will move on to things that actually matter. There is great Country music out there, just listen to that and ignore this waste of space. I already gave it more attention than it deserved.

SCORE: 0/5


3. Morgan Wallen - "Last Night"

Well, this Country song isn't nearly as bad as the last one, but it's still not good. Morgan Wallen with his generic pop country production that features the same boring finger snaps you'd hear in a trap song. I thought we were past the whole country trying to sound like trap music phase, but I guess it's still going strong. This song spent months at the number one spot and only just this week finally go down to three. The sad part is this is one of Wallen's worst songs he's maybe ever made? Besides the boring trap/country music, Wallen himself is just half-heartedly going through the motions here as he mumbles the lyrics. The song seems to be about some kind of toxic relationship that's on and off with drinking and fighting. Morgan sounds so uninterested in it that it's hard to really care about anything he says. Just another song that brings nothing new to the table and uses lazy pop tropes without being inventive or fun or thoughtful or... anything. Maybe actually try next time. 

SCORE: 1/5


4. Luke Combs - "Fast Car"

The third country song in a row, but this one is actually... good? The song is a cover of one of the most iconic songs of the 80s by Tracy Chapman. This cover pretty much does everything exactly like the original, but I think in this case it's not a bad thing. Luke's voice works really well in the song and I think his vocals bring a new enough element to make this cover worth checking out. I like that he clearly respects and loves the original and put his heart into singing it. If you've never heard the original, it's for sure worth checking out as it's even better than this one. Overall though, I enjoyed this cover. 

SCORE: 4/5

5. Gunna - "fukumean"

The first hip-hop song of the list comes from Gunna and it's certainly a... song? I don't know about this one, it sounds like the kind of song that should have been left behind in the last decade. It's not terrible, it's not good, it just exists. I have no strong feelings towards this song, but I know I'll forget it exists in a few hours and I kind of look forward to that moment.

SCORE: 1.5/5


6. Rema &Selena Gomez - "Calm Down"

I saw the name Selena Gomez and immediately panicked. Anyone who's read my previous music blogs knows how much I can't stand Selena Gomez's music as I find her to be extremely bland. To my surprise though, this song was actually... good? The chilled-out tropical groove really fits in with Rema and Selena's voices along with some great melodies. Both artists just work well together and make it really easy to listen to this song and just relax. 

SCORE: 3/5


7. Olivia Rodrigo - "vampire"

Olivia returns to the pop charts with her new big single "VAMPIRE". It's strange to see this big song already dropping out of the top 10 so soon, or at least that's what it looks like now. Started at number one and two weeks later already down to 7. Not sure if that's because the song just doesn't have much interest or the other songs above it just have more. Probably a bit of both. 

The song is about Olivia's crappy ex-boyfriend who she realized was a bad person and she dwells about what a mistake it was dating him. The song uses the not-so-subtle metaphor of him being a blood-sucking vampire that was just using her and her status and was not really in love with her. I guess that's a theme this week, lots of not-so-subtle songs. The lyrics are the weakest part of the song, but I still ended up really liking this one. The melodies are really good and Olivia still brings good energy and enough anger to make the song feel true. It ends up being a solid song, held back by the lyrics.

SCORE: 3.5/5

8. Taylor Swift - "Cruel Summer"

From her 2019 album "Lover" comes a really late hit "Cruel Summer". I'm not entirely sure why this song just randomly came back into the spotlight, but I am happy to see it as I always thought it deserved more love than it got originally. To me, it's clearly the standout track from her 2019 album. It's just such a well-done and fun song that really has everything you would want in a Taylor song. The good lyrics, catchy melodies, and great production. This also means Taylor currently has songs from three different albums on the Billboard Hot 100 charts, which is pretty crazy when you think about it. 

SCORE: 4.5/5


9. Miley Cyrus - "Flowers"

A song that has a good chance of being the biggest song of the year since it's been on the charts since the start of the year. It does have some competition with Morgan Wallen's "Last Night" and SZA's "Kill Bill" which have also dominated the charts this year. Miley's big single from her new album dropped in January on her ex-husband's birthday to tell him how she's going to be perfectly fine without him. The song has a throwback 70's vibe to it with the funky bass and synth. It works really well overall and Miley's vocals are great as usual. Personally, I was a little disappointed to see her following the current trend of pop music, especially after her last album was so different than anything else in the pop music scene. Overall the album was just fine, but this song is still a standout from it along with some other great songs. Even after 7 months, this song still hasn't gotten old and that's really impressive.

SCORE: 4/5


10. Lil Durk (ft. J. Cole) - "All My Life"

I was disappointed to find out that this was not in fact a cover of the famous K-Ci & JoJo song. Dated references aside, this song was a nice surprise. An uplifting song with the stereotypical chorus of children singing the hook is just what the charts needed. Actually, the only part of the song I don't like is the chorus of children, because it sounds a little to Kidz Bop for me. Besides that, you get some good lyrics from both artists backed by a solid beat. It helps that the song feels like it has good energy unlike a lot of these songs seem to have on the charts. Okay, but if we could somehow bring K-Ci & Jojo back onto the charts that would be great too.

SCORE: 4/5 

Things started out a little bleak on this list, but it ended up being pretty strong overall. Some pleasant surprises and some long-running hits I really like on this list made this a pretty easy listen. I still have no idea where music is headed in the next few years and this list doesn't really help me in that regard. It's strange to think that maybe there's a future where Country music in the USA starts to get bigger than Hip-Hop. I'm not sure that's a future that's actually possible with how strong Hip-Hop has been in the last 20 years. The reality is that K-Pop is the real future and we all need to learn Korean. 
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7/24/2023

Barbie and Oppenheimer Reviews

 It's been a crazy weekend at the theatres with two huge movies opening on the same day in what feels like a long time. Two completely different movies in Barbie and Oppenheimer opened this weekend to a lot of great buzz and attendance. Seeing lots of people dressed up for the Barbie premiere was nice and all the manly men who rather watch Oppenheimer because it's a Nolan movie. Mostly kidding about that last part, but I did hear a lot of older men talking in the theatre about how they don't want to see Barbie. The hype for these two movies was pretty big, did they live up to all that or were they letdowns? Here's MY opinion. 


BARBIE




Greta Gerwig returns to the director's chair after creating a lot of great movies so far like Lady Bird and the recent Little Women adaptation. This is her first big blockbuster that she's a part of and it's a movie that got a heavy push from Warner Bros. The movie stars Margot Robbie as Barbie as well and Ryan Gosling as Ken. The story follows Robbie's Barbie as she lives a perfect life in Barbie Land, where everything is always amazing and every day is just one big fun party. In their world, women rule the nation and all the men (known as the Kens) are just there to try to impress them. Everything changes when Barbie starts having dark thoughts and everything around her starts falling apart. She must travel to the real world (with Ken) to find her original owner and see what is wrong with her to fix their connection. The story ends up going to a lot of wacky places and I won't go further than that to not spoil the fun that happens after. 

The thing I loved the most about the movie was just how visually pleasing it was. The use of real sets and cool visual tricks really make this movie feel so unique and like it's really taking place in a toy set. The sets are all real and painted up like an actual Barbie play set along with the great outfits taken straight from the real toys and brought into life. The movie just has this really fun atmosphere that is really fun to look at. It's not just the visuals though, but the performances are all pretty good too, especially from Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling, but the other stars do bring a lot of fun with maybe a few exceptions. Will Ferrel is in this movie, but he was one of the few parts that I wasn't too big on. 

I think this movie does a good job with the message that it's trying to tell young girls and women. It does so with a lot of great humor that works for the most part, but also some nice slower moments that really feel like they're speaking a heartfelt message to their audience. While yes, the movie is mainly focused on women and their struggle, there are still some good messages here for the men and a fun story involving a reverse equality storyline that was often times hilarious, but also had a good message at the end. 

Overall this movie was a ton of fun, with lots of great visuals and laughs throughout. There weren't very many dull moments and when the movie slowed down it did so with good reason, to tell its story and to speak to its audience. While not all the moments worked and some characters felt like maybe didn't need to be there, it's still overall very good. 

Overall Grade: B+ 

Oppenheimer




This one was not nearly as fun but for very good reasons. Christopher Nolan returns to the big screen with his new movie Oppenheimer. A story that many people know about, but not as many know about the man behind it all. Cillian Murphy plays J Robert Oppenheimer in this movie that tells the story of the man who led the team behind that created the atomic bomb that changed the world forever. This movie has a ton of well-known actors in it that all make short appearances, but the movie is always focused on the main character. 

It goes without saying at this point that Nolan knows how to make a beautiful-looking film, and this one is possibly the most beautiful looking one yet. Yes, the big explosion looks amazing, but outside of that, it's still an amazing-looking film. The way to visuals are used to tell this story is the kind of thing that only great directors like Nolan can really pull off masterfully.

The story is told in a non-linear way but never feels confusing in the way it's told. There are moments where we flash into a black-and-white scene that feels appropriate as it's an easy indication that this is happening at another time. The story is being told through the eyes of Oppenheimer for the most part, as we see his rise through school and his groundbreaking research leads him to eventually be chosen to lead the Manhattan Project. I think the story and writing do a good job at not just presenting Oppenheimer as this hero character who accomplished a great thing and helped the Allies win WWII. It shows a lot of struggle in the character as he fights with what it means to create something as powerful as an atomic bomb and how it's going to be used eventually. It goes beyond that into a lot of political fights and moral dilemmas. 

I can't lie and say there weren't moments where I found myself checking out a little, the story can be a little slow at times, especially in the beginning. Nothing feels like a waste of time though, even through its slower moments it's clearly telling you something important about Oppenheimer and where his story is heading. There are some truly scary moments in this movie, which was not surprising when you think about the subject matter, but I'm glad the movie wasn't afraid to go into the darkness to tell a complete story.

It's interesting to see these two movies come out on the same weekend and be the completely opposite of each other in their presentation. But I think it shows how amazing movies can be and how many different stories there are to tell through film. Whether it's a funny movie with a heartfelt message or a darker movie that leaves you thinking at the end of it, it's all pretty awesome. Nolan and Gerwig made two great movies and if you have the chance to watch them both, you should. 

Overall grade for Oppenheimer: A-
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7/13/2023

Disney: Land of Nostalgia and Sequels

So it's been about a month or so now since Disney released their latest live-action remake of a beloved animated classic (Little Mermaid this time). I started to really think about what Disney as a company has been doing the past decade with its movie releases and how it's using its well-known IP and history to try and make money. I think it's clear that Disney has reached a strange place in their history, one that feels like it relies too much on nostalgia and its past for its movie ideas. I just want to focus on Disney's long-running studio, so that doesn't include all the MCU, Star Wars, and Fox properties they have acquired the last decade-plus (though those have their own issues I could rant about too). I will be including Pixar though, as even before Disney acquired them, they had been working together for decades. 


In 2015, Disney released the live-action Cinderella remake, which was actually really good. This wasn't the first live-action remake they had made as movies like 101 Dalmations and Alice In Wonderland had come out before this one. The thing about Cinderella was that it was the movie that really kick-started Disney's obsession with remaking every animated classic they had into live-action. Ever since that movie's release Disney hasn't gone a single year without releasing at least one live-action remake, sometimes even releasing more like in 2019 when they released four remakes. The thing that makes this more annoying is how they've gotten progressively worse in quality as they keep coming out, reaching a new low with last year's awful Pinocchio remake. Even more embarrassing when another Piccochio movie comes out the same year on Netflix and wins an Oscar. Out of all the live-action remakes, there are only two I can say I truly liked and that's Cinderella and Jungle Book... the first two that came out pretty much. 


Okay, so Disney's live-action remake plan isn't going so well. Still, they plan on making 4-5 more in the next two years. But what about the Disney animation studio and Pixar? Well, those haven't been doing so hot either. When you look at the quality of movies released by Disney Animation in the last few years, it's been really hit or miss. When you look at the last 5-6 years of Walt Disney Animation movies, you don't really see a lot of movies you could see becoming classics outside of Encanto. Besides that one, you got mediocre sequels to Wreck-it-Ralph and Frozen, a big flop in Strange World, and an okay movie in Raya and the Last Dragon. Not the best lineup there especially when compared to the movies that came before those that included new classics like Frozen, Tangled, and Moana. Of course, they announced another Frozen movie is coming, big surprise there. I will say the upcoming movie "Wish" does look promising, and I hope it actually ends up doing well. 


As for Pixar, well they haven't been in the best form recently themselves. At one point in time, this was a studio that couldn't make a bad movie if they tried. Now its releases are very hit or miss and seem to have trouble really finding success. Looking at the releases they've had in the last 4 years you'll see a lot of decent movies that are nowhere near the quality they once were known for. Especially last year's Buzz Lightyear movie, which felt so unnecessary and ended up being a mediocre movie that didn't make much sense in the Toy Story saga. Wouldn't you know it, they recently announced another Toy Story movie is being made, because they can't just let the story end and the characters be happy. Just a few weeks ago the movie Elemental came out to a mostly good reception, but most people seem to think it's just fine. I think it's an okay movie too, some great visuals put into a very underwhelming story that's about as predictable as you'd expect in another Romeo and Juliet love story. It's still missing that Pixar storytelling that would get you all emotional and really connect you to the characters and their relationships with each other. I mean they could make me root for two Robots that can't talk falling in love at one point. 


I wouldn't even say all these problems are just on Disney, but a lot of the big studios are falling into a lot of these same business practices. Constantly throwing out sequels and remakes in the hopes that nostalgia will bring in the box office numbers, but it just doesn't seem to be working as well as it did anymore. So afraid to put out new ideas because of the fear that they will fail because people only like things they recognize is pretty lame honestly. It sucks that when Disney and Pixar do try new ideas they haven't been extremely successful recently. But again, I don't think it's because people don't want new things, but because the new things we're getting just aren't very good. Even Disney's most popular brand in the Marvel Cinematic Universe seems to be reaching a point where people might actually be starting to get a bit exhausted by how much they rely on it. Hell, even the video game industry is going through something kind of similar with its reliance on remakes and sequels.


There's actually been a sort of animation revival over at Netflix, a place where they actually let new ideas come to life and really seem to give those ideas the attention and time they deserve to become really good movies. Just the past few years they have released some amazing animated projects on Netflix, which I'll recommend some down below. All this to say that, the once untouchable Disney and Pixar studios are now floundering. An over-reliance on nostalgia remakes and sequels is really showing how much they prefer the money over actually coming up with new ideas and letting creators bring them to life. While other smaller studios are really shining and showing that there are still so many creators and writers out there with fantastic ideas just ready to come to life on the big screen. 


But here are some animated movies specifically that you can watch from the past few years that really show how many great ideas are still out there to be explored and creative new directions that animation can still take.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Theatres)
Marcel the Shell With Shoes On (Showtime)
Puss In Boots the Last Wish (Peacock)
Wolfwalkers (Apple TV+)
The House (Netflix)
Nimona (Netflix) 
The Sea Beast (Netflix)
Entergalactic (Netflix)
A Whisker Away (Netflix)

With a studio as big and powerful as Disney, you would think a lot of these movies and ideas could be coming from them. Instead, they often turn down things like this and just go with the safe choice. We've seen recently a lot of other studios pushing the boundaries of animation as Disney and Pixar fall behind, which was unheard of before this time. You don't always need a ton of money to make a great movie, tons of great movies are made on a small budget and just a great team of visionaries. Disney needs to look for those voices to bring in a new fresh era of movies and stories that don't always rely on nostalgia to get over. 

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7/12/2023

10 Worst Songs of the 2000s

After making my best songs list for the last four decades I decided to go back and find out what the truly worst songs of the last few decades are. A few months ago I posted my 2010s worst songs list if you haven't seen that one yet. This time things felt a bit more... nostalgic. A lot of these songs were heard on the radio hundreds of times or seen on MTV and VH1 when they still had those music video shows. The 2000s are kind of split into two halves it feels like. The first half had a lot of rock music that was carried over from the late 90s and a lot of crunk carried over as well. Then the latter half of the 2000s felt like it found its own identity with new artists innovating and finding new sounds to make popular. To me, going through the first half of the decade's music felt a lot more painful than the second half. If you're a fan of post-grunge rock then you might hate this list cause... yeah. My only rule here is that it had to be a hit song or at least a song that a lot of people knew back then or today.

Before the actual list, I usually put some songs that just barely missed out on making it. This time I thought it would be more fun to put songs that are pretty hated, but I still like or don't mind. Here are a few of those:


Hinder - "Lips of an Angel"

I always hear people make fun of this song or hate this song for only being only liked by older women and moms. I guess that might be Hinder's fanbase, but I still find this song pretty fun in a cheesy way. The chorus is catchy enough and the music isn't too bad. It's got a fun post-grunge style going for it, really the only bad thing is the pretty lame lyrics, but to me, it's easy to ignore as it's a pretty fun song to just jam to and sing along with.


Nickelback - "How You Remind Me"

Yeah, it's Nickelback, a band that gets enough hate just for existing at this point. This song is too catchy to really hate though. Fun to sing along to and it's got a lot of memorable moments that are burned into my brain. Even after 20 years, it's still good to go back to, not that I do it very often, but it's clearly better than a lot of people want to admit it is. Though this is a good time to bring up the totally random fact that this album came out on September 11, 2001. 


Jason Mraz - "I'm Yours"

I never knew how much hate this song got until I started researching and going through old songs from the 2000s. It's weird because I always thought this was a pretty well-liked song. It's got pretty good music and it's very catchy and just fun. I guess maybe the lyrics can be a bit nonsensical at times and Jason's scatting in the bridge feels a bit too random. Still, that's not enough for me to not like this song. 


Miley Cyrus - "Party In the U.S.A." 

Nah this song is pretty much flawless. Although I do wonder what JAY-Z she was listening to in that cab that made her want to dance. 


Creed - "My Sacrifice"

Nah just kidding, this song sux. 


Alright here's the actual list: THE TOP 10 WORST SONGS OF THE 2000s!


10. Staind - "It's Been A While"




Take the edgy "I'm mad at the world" lyrics of Limp Bizkit and mix them with some of the most boring and generic Post-Grunge music you could make and you get the band Staind. One of the whiniest bands of the 2000s that pretty much never had anything interesting to say. Frontman and songwriter Aaron Lewis never found a way to make his songs any interesting even after trying to change genres into country. Now he's one of those idiots complaining about how America was better in the "good ole days" when we had statues of traitors all over the country. It's probably safe to say that Staind was a big part of the reason this genre fell off before the end of the decade. Dark and depressing with nothing interesting to say is all you get here. 

9. Jason Derulo - "Watcha Say"




I've talked about my hatred for this song a few times on this blog. Safe to say the years have not changed my opinion of it, nor of the artist who made it. It's sad that this isn't even his worst song, but it's still up there in songs I really dislike. From the bizarre choice of sampling one of the saddest songs ever made in "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap and turning it into a pop song to Jason's own messy vocals it's all just very bad. At least Jason has gone on to make a few decent hits in his later years, but this song was the first of many terrible hit songs from Derulo.

8. D4L - "Laffy Taffy"




With one of the laziest music loops in all of the 2000s comes Laffy Taffy by D4L. Crunk was incredibly popular throughout the 2000s and it produced a lot of fun songs by some artists who would become huge mega-stars like Nelly, Lil Jon, and Lil Wayne. That being said, there were plenty of lazy copycats and artists trying to find a hit by making a lazy song in that genre. D4L was one of the artists lucky enough to bag a hit before completely disappearing into the void. It feels like a song that's missing the energy that made the genre so much fun and enjoyable. It kinda has the idea down, with the somewhat catchy chorus, but it lacks any charisma beyond that to really make it any fun. It just feels like it's a crunk song being played in slow-motion, which is the exact opposite of what I look for in this genre. Where's the fun? Where's the energy? 


Jadakiss - "Why"




Admittedly, I don't know much about Jada outside of a few of his more popular songs and features. One song I've always known about and really disliked though is the song "Why". The song is supposed to be asking some tough questions or questions that normal people would be "afraid" to ask. Instead of actually asking real and tough questions about life and the music industry, he ends up going into a lot of weird places that make him come across as not a good person and a bit of an idiot. He does bring up a good point at the start when he asks why the music industry mistreats and takes advantage of its artists. After that, he starts going all over the place by asking dumb and offensive questions that no one cares about. It gets really bad when he calls an alleged rape victim a whore and then throws in some Bush did 9/11 conspiracy theories in there just to really make himself look stupid. Any decent observations he has are just completely overshadowed by those horrible questions amongst some other facepalm-worthy things he throws in there. 

Nickelback - "Rockstar"




I always felt that Nickelback gets way more hate than deserved in the music world. Yeah, their music isn't the best thing out there, but they got some pretty good songs and even some of their hits are really catchy and fun to jam out to now and then. Some songs aren't worth defending though and that's where the song "Rockstar" comes in. The song is a commentary/parody of the old rockstar lifestyle where the big stars would be all about parties, drugs, and living in giant mansions with lots of useless stuff. It felt a bit outdated by the time it came out and the era of the "rockstar" was a lot less relevant by 2005. The commentary they're going for just doesn't really hit, like it doesn't really sound as tongue-in-cheek as I think they wanted it to sound. I guess they wanted to be above all that stuff, but it comes across a bit like they just think they're better than all those guys cause they don't do drugs and live in mansions with tons of cars. The song just doesn't do it for me at all. 


Eamon - "F*ck It (I Don't Want You Back)"




I remembered the song, but there was no way I was remembering this guy's name. Eamon had a career that lasted a month or two before this song got old and he never had anything close to another hit. Honestly, he should've never even had this one hit, cause this song is just crap. Unfortunately, it's just a case of a guy who just doesn't quite have the talent to pull this off. It seems like there's a good reason behind this super bitter and hateful song, that being he caught his lover cheating on him. All that bitterness and pain turned into a mediocre track that couldn't deliver on the pain that he was trying to put on the track thanks to weak production and vocals from Eamon himself. It kind of feels like it relies too heavily on the gimmick that the chorus is basically just dropping F-bombs over and over to become a popular song. Also, the radio version's chorus is kinda hilarious since half the words are censored. Well, he got his 15 minutes of fame, so that's nice. An artist named Frankee later made a song called "F**k you right back" in response to Eamon. She said she was the ex the original song was about, but Eamon said it wasn't her. Still, her song ended up being pretty popular on its own, so that's pretty funny I guess?


Puddle of Mudd - "She Hates Me"




While Eamon had a song that had a decent idea with poor execution, this song here is a terrible idea with awful execution. The juvenile and immature lyrics paired with the boring post-grunge music and Wes Scantlin's painful vocals make for some nightmare material here. Another song that relies on the gimmick of the chorus being full of curse words and being "edgy". I guess if you're under the age of 12 maybe this is edgy? Then you add on the LALALAs and you got yourself a mess of a song with no redeeming qualities. The only reason this song isn't higher on the list is that I expect trash from this band... the next few artists are ones that were fully capable of making better songs and have plenty of good stuff in their catalog.  


Black Eyed Peas - "Imma Be"





The Black Eyed Peas had a solid run in the 2000s where they put out hit after hit. Right before the end of the decade, they put out what became the worst and most annoying song they ever created. "Imma Be" is one of those songs that instantly makes me angry as soon as the song starts. The song basically just repeats the phrase "Imma Be" over and over again until it doesn't even make any more sense. The phrase is repeated over 100 times in this 4-minute song. Despite how insanely annoying this song is, it still somehow became a hit song in 2009. Proof that you don't need to really try that hard to become successful in the music industry once you're a big enough name. It's annoying that even the parts that aren't just repeating "Imma Be" aren't very good either. Some pretty terrible lyrics on top of the annoying repetition really make this one of the worst songs of all time. Nothing makes me sadder than hearing Will.i.am say "Imma be a bank, I'll be loaning out semen". This is an attempt at saying he sleeps with a lot of women, but it sounds more like he's just very into donating sperm. 


Will.i.am would go on to make more terrible songs in the next two decades. Fergie would "sing" the national anthem and the other two guys did stuff too. 


Madonna - "American Life"




Madonna was one of the few artists who had maintained her huge level of popularity and fame through three decades (80s-00s). She's also one of the few artists who had number-one hits in three separate decades as well, with "Music" hitting number-one in the year 2000. Her big follow-up to that huge hit was "American Life" in 2003. Madonna was going in a totally new direction with this single, one that was supposed to be more ambitious and topical. What we actually got was a mess of a song with some of the most confusing production and lyrics that didn't connect with anyone or anything. It's tonally all over the place with whatever message Madonna was trying to say with this song and it even features a terrible rap verse from Madonna. A song and album so bad it's a miracle Madonna was able to recover from it at all. Thankfully she was able to bounce back with her big single "Hung Up", which was a return to form after the mess that was "American Life". 


1. Eminem - "Just Lose It" (With bonus song "Ass Like That")




In the late 90s and early 00s, Eminem was untouchable. It's hard to argue that any rapper had as big of a rise as Eminem did from 1999 to 2002. By the year 2002, he was a mega-star and one of the most famous artists in the world. Starring in his own movie that was well received and dropping one of the most iconic songs of the 2000s, "Lose Yourself", it seemed like Eminem could do no wrong. That was until the year 2004. Encore was the big follow-up to his iconic album "The Eminem Show" and needless to say the world was incredibly excited to hear more. That is until the first single dropped...

"Just Lose It" was an interesting direction for Em to take after his huge serious role in 8-Mile and the also serious "Just Lose It". Here, Eminem returned to his more outrageous and funny side as he wrote a comedy song about... Michael Jackson... with jokes about pedophilia, fart jokes, and lame dad jokes all over the track. The song not only felt like a step backward but multiple steps backward after the great work he had done up to this point. The worst part was that the rest of the album pretty much followed in the same direction with its terrible sense of humor and somehow worse production and beats. 

I also felt the need to include a mention of the song "Ass Like That" here because it's one of the dumbest things ever. Everything about this song is so incredibly lame. Talking about how he gets boners from looking at the Olsen twins (who were barely 18 when this song came out) and Hilary Duff (who actually wasn't even 18 yet). Then he makes jokes about peeing and touching himself in a theatre and it's so incredibly unfunny and lame I honestly can't believe this was the same guy who made songs like "Stan" and "Till I Collapse". It was a new low for Eminem, one that he thankfully never really reached again as an artist, but it's still painful to go back and listen to some of this era of his music. 
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7/06/2023

Ranking the Failure That Was the DC Extended Universe

 We're a few weeks past the release of The Flash in theatres, and after watching the movie, it's safe to say that the DCEU really did need to die. The DCEU has been so all over the place in terms of quality that it's honestly confusing how many different directions it went in. For the most part, most of the movies were okay or worst, but there are a few gems in there. In all, there were 14 movies (if you count the Snyder Cut as its own movie) and only a few of those movies were really loved by most of the audience that watched them. 


From the start, the biggest problem that seemed to plague this cinematic universe was how rushed everything felt. Unlike its counterpart in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the DCEU did not try to take its time to establish the main heroes before trying to throw them together into a team-up movie. We got one Superman movie in "Man of Steel" and then in the next movie he was already fighting Batman and introducing Wonder Woman before she even got her own movie. After Wonder Woman got her own movie they jumped directly into a Justice League movie without establishing the characters of Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg. It took Flash 5 years to finally get his own movie after Justice League. All that would be easily forgiven if the movies had just been good... but no, most of them were not. So here's my list from Best to Worst because I feel like it's more fun that way in this particular case. Two things won't be included here and that's Peacemaker (because it's a show, but it's actually really good) and the Snyder Cut of Justice League because it's way too freaking long... like 4 hours too long. Though I've heard it actually does improve the original so maybe one day I'll try it out. 


THE BEST. (13) The Suicide Squad (2021) 




This is by far the best thing that came out of the DCEU, and the fact that it came after the first piece of trash Suicide Squad movie just shows that with the right visionary, you can make a great movie for all the DC characters. This movie had everything from heart to hilarious moments to some great action. It's probably the only DCEU movie you could argue for being a perfect comic book movie. Every actor does an amazing job with their characters. Even a bizarre character like Polka-Dot Man ended up being a favorite because of the great writing and performance. But taking a terrible character from the first movie in Rick Flag and completely redeeming his character was pretty impressive. All in all, it's one of the best comic book movies of all time and it stands way above all the other DCEU projects. 

12. Wonder Woman



   After a very mediocre start to the DCEU, it was this movie that really gave me hope for the future projects that were coming. This movie had everything that had been missing in the first three movies that started the DCEU. It was actually well-written and directed, which meant it had great characters and a ton of heart that was missing from this universe to that point. Wonder Woman felt like the first project in this universe that knew how to actually portray its leading hero. Gal Gadot played the part perfectly and had great chemistry with Chris Pine to make two really likable characters you root for in the whole movie. It's not a perfect movie, as it has some problems with its third act and the villains, but it's not enough to take away all the good things this movie did. The only sad thing was it gave me hope for a future that never came in the DCEU. 

11. Shazam





Much like Wonder Woman, this was a movie that really understood what it was trying to do and did it well. The movie knows how to have fun with its characters while still having enough emotional moments to carry the story. The child-like performance by Zachery Levi was really fun and felt natural for a character that is literally a child in a man's body. It's a fun movie to come back to now and then, which is more than I can say for most of these movies coming up. There was real potential here for a nice side series in the DCEU that could have eventually tied into some of the other characters and movies, like a Shazam and Superman movie or Shazam Vs Black Adam, but... well we'll get to that later. 

10. Birds of Prey




I would say this is the last good movie on this list, though it's known for dividing audiences. A lot of people don't love this one, but I really thought it was a fun ride with a great character in Harley Quinn. The supporting cast is actually great too and each of them had great chemistry with each other. The character of Harley Quinn is really likable though and it's her growth that really carries this movie. They do a great job at making you feel sympathy for what was a villainous character. Overall, a fun movie that's another good one to rewatch, but it certainly has its fair share of flaws. Fun fact though, this was the last movie I saw in theatres before the pandemic. Probably something a lot of people can say as it came out a few weeks before it all went down. 

9. The Flash




Going into movies that were very OKAY. This might be the most okay movie I've seen in a while? The movie suffered from a lot of things, the main noticeable problem being the rushed CGI that oftentimes looks worst than a movie from the 90s. It was very distracting watching some of the outdated visuals just all over the screen with no shame whatsoever. That and a story that was just fine, with lots of missed opportunities for fun. The best part of the movie is seeing Keaton's Batman return to the big screen once again, he hasn't missed a step. But that nostalgia rush can only take you so far when most of the movie struggled to capture my attention. Aside from a few well-done moments involving Barry and his family, I mostly felt nothing watching this movie and the nostalgia bombs were not enough to make me feel anything more for this movie. It was all just OKAY. Supergirl was awesome though. 



8. Man of Steel




If you want to talk about a movie that made me feel nothing, well here's Man of Steel. It's weird because I remember liking this more when it came out, but over the years I feel less and less for this movie. I think the sequel probably had a huge role in that, to be honest, and the way they handled Henry Cavill's Superman really left a bad taste in everyone's mouth. So much potential here was squandered as they picked the right man to play Superman, but never gave him a good movie to star in and really establish himself as THE SUPERMAN.  This movie was all over the place in quality with some dumb choices by a lot of the characters being written into the movie. I'll still never understand his earth dad letting himself die just to prove some kind of dumb point. There are still enough decent moments here to keep this from being a truly terrible movie, but it's certainly not a good one. 

7. Shazam: Fury of the Gods




I think I need to rewatch this film to really see how I feel about it. I think it honestly might be more enjoyable than Man of Steel, but my expectations were higher for this one after how much I enjoyed the first, maybe I was harsher towards it. So maybe after a rewatch it could go a few spots higher here, but it's still not quite what I was hoping for in a sequel. It doesn't help that this movie felt like it was destined to fail with the way the studio was treating it and the announcement of the new direction DC was about to go in with the new creative head James Gunn taking charge. That and The Rock as Black Adam not wanting to be seen in this movie despite being a huge part of the Shazam universe. It all just feels disappointing, to say the least. Maybe next time let the movie come out before you announce a restart of the whole cinematic universe. 


6. Black Adam




Speaking of Black Adam, boy was this movie a mediocre mess. Honestly, this movie did more damage to The Rock's career than I thought anything could do. The man seemed untouchable, but after this flop of a movie came out his aura just seemed different. The man seemed like for the first time in his career he was defeated. He tried desperately to make this movie seem better than it actually was and at times even lied just to save face. Eventually, he would call it quits and confirm that he wouldn't be back to make any sequels to this crap movie. The worst part is the giant tease at the end of the movie where they were starting to set up a possible Superman VS Black Adam storyline with Henry Cavill returning. All that was just a big tease that is not even going to happen. That on top of this movie that felt like a generic comic book movie really made it clear that it was time for the DCEU to end and a new era to start. Now The Rock went crawling back to the Fast franchise to try and salvage his movie star career. Oh and a live-action Moana that definitely does not feel desperate at all by The Rock and Disney. Be sure to try his tequila though, it can't be worse than this movie? 

5. Aquaman




Jason Mamoa's charm was not enough to make this movie anything more than a boring slog. This was by far the most boring DCEU movie out of all of them, but still not the worst. It wasn't really a terrible movie in that it didn't really do anything offensively bad, but it didn't have anything that made it stand out above an average action movie. The movie felt way too long and the story felt very slow at times with the few action scenes not really bringing anything that exciting besides more CGI-filled fights that just didn't really do it for me. The movie pretty much peaks at the start where they introduce Aquaman for the first time and he is very charming and likable. That charm is wasted on a boring story filled with a lot of characters that I can't even remember. Even the villain is pretty forgettable and almost feels like an afterthought in a movie that feels way too long. I literally had to fight sleep just to finish watching this one.

4. Justice League




Like I said before, the DCEU felt rushed and that was very clear when watching the first release of Justice League. There were some obvious problems with the movie like the reshoots that involved Henry Cavill getting his mustache removed with special effects. It was incredibly distracting and kind of hilarious. But the thing that made this movie really bad was just how all the characters were rushed together and had little to no chemistry with each other. It felt like they were just trying to catch up to what Marvel was doing without actually doing any of the work to set up their universe and build a big villain for the team to take on. It all happens so fast in just this one movie it all feels forced. It just shows how important it is to actually take time to build your characters and get the audience to like each of them individually before you throw them all together in a big team-up. 

3. Wonder Woman 1984




The biggest disappointment by far in this whole DCEU mess. How do you go from one of the best comic book movies to one of the worst? Well, you make a mess of a movie that has no idea what it's trying to be in Wonder Woman 1984. The story is all over the place with confusing villains, dumb action scenes, and none of the charm of the first movie. So much talent involved in this movie it boggles my mind how this one came out so bad. You get Chris Pine and Gal Gadot back together with the addition of Kristen Wiig and Pedro Pascal and you somehow waste all their talent. The only thing keeping this movie from being the worst is the next two movies being somehow worse than this pile of garbage. That and Gal Gadot and Chris Pine do have some nice moments together at the very least, so at least that was nice to see more of. 

2. Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice




The name of the movie sucks, the characters suck, the writing sucks, the action sucks, and the visuals suck... this movie is just the worst. Well, not the worst, because there's one more movie on this list, but still. I could probably go on and on about why I hate this movie, but it's probably not worth the energy to go that deep into it. I'll just say how disappointing it was to go into a big movie that tons of people had been waiting to see in live-action only to be completely blown away by how terrible it was. Batman kills people, Lex Luthor is a weirdo for no reason, Batman doesn't kill Superman because their moms have the same name, and the Justice League is announced through weird cam-footage. It's all just bad. The movie looks dark and ugly and it feels like a heartless corporate cash grab trying to get the most money it can by sticking its two most popular characters in a movie and not doing anything interesting with them. One of the biggest disappointments of my movie-going experience. The only reason it's not the worst movie is because there's somehow something even more soulless and pointless coming up next.


THE WORST: Suicide Squad (2016)




This movie is one of my most hated pieces of media ever created. Not just comic movies, but movies in general. It's a giant mess of a movie that has no idea how to be interesting or entertaining outside of being just terrible from start to finish. It's not even the kind of bad you can laugh at (okay maybe a few parts are bad funny), but the kind of bad that leaves you empty inside. I honestly had lost all hope for the DCEU after watching this movie, but thankfully Wonder Woman came after it and reminded me what DC movies actually look like when done well. This movie really seemed like it was trying so hard to be Guardians of the Galaxy with its quirky characters and use of licensed music. But everything Guardians did well, this movie struggled with. The characters all fell flat and felt like they had no real growth throughout the story. Most of the characters were one-note and forgettable with the exception of Harley Quinn who was the only decent thing this movie had going for it. It wasn't enough to make up for the terrible dialog and sloppy storytelling. The use of licensed music always felt out of place and didn't really seem to have a theme outside of just using as many popular songs as possible. The movie was dark and ugly with lots of over-the-top effects and fonts that felt like they were trying too hard to be quirky. At the end of it all you're left with an ugly, boring movie with no redeeming qualities outside of a few minutes of Harley Quinn. I don't know how James Gunn took this mess of a movie and made a sequel that was one of the best comic book movies ever made. Killing off almost all the characters probably helps? Some people just understand how to present these types of characters in a story and how to get audiences to like them despite how weird they may seem. This first movie got everything wrong and I didn't even talk about their version of the Joker... but I don't think there's enough time in the world to go into that disaster. 

If these movies had taken more time to build their characters and find the right directors and writers to tell their stories, then there would have never been a need to restart the entire universe over. Lots of these actors were great choices for the characters they were playing and it sucks that we might never see actors like Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck, and Jason Momoa in good movies playing their characters. Well, there is still another Aquaman movie coming out before the DCEU completely gets wiped out, so maybe that'll be good? Probably not... 



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