9/20/2024

Beetlejuice BeetleJuice and the Hollywood Nostalgia Sequel

 This isn't going to be a full review of the movie Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, but more about how Hollywood is pushing out these nostalgia sequels to an annoying degree. I will talk about the new Beetlejuice movie and how I felt about it too, but also about the state of Hollywood and how it has been bringing back a lot of dead franchises to try to bring audiences back to the theatres. 


In the past few years, we've seen a lot of sequels come out to movies that are decades old and were perfectly fine staying in the past. Movies like Twister, Beverly Hills Cop, Chicken Run, Indiana Jones, Top Gun, Coming To America, Gladiator, and The Exorcists have all gotten or are getting sequels pretty soon. Really the only one on that list that actually felt worth making was Top Gun Maverick. Well, Gladiator 2 is still coming, but I'm not super excited about that one as of now. Then of course there's Beetlejuice Beetlejuice which just came out recently...


I honestly thought the new Beetlejuice movie was okay. It certainly didn't live up to the first movie's greatness, but I think most people didn't expect it would. The cast did a good job going back to the characters they played over 30 years ago, especially Michael Keaton. That being said the story of the movie just didn't work for me as it was pretty all over the place and it felt like it didn't know which characters to focus on so it tried to give 4 characters equal time in the story to poor results. That and the fact that the two big villains both end up not really having much impact to the story. There was certainly an interesting story they could have told here, but it ended up being a little too all over the place and unfocused. That and Beetlejuice himself felt like he could have been handled better. He was still the best part of the movie though and the moments we see him onscreen are pretty fun overall. It just sucks that his part of the story felt so insignificant. The practical effects were great to see and the makeup and costumes were pretty spot-on. Even the villain played by Monica Bellucci was interesting in design, but her character was so pointless to the story it didn't really feel like her story even belonged in this movie. Overall I'd say it was a grade-C movie, it will be a fun movie to watch on a marathon along with the first one, but it fails to reach the highs of the original. 


But all this brings me to the Hollywood sequel problem we've been seeing a lot recently. Not that Hollywood hasn't been making sequels and reboots before this time, but it just feels like lately they've been obsessed with making sequels after 20+ years and bringing back the original cast after they've aged out of their original characters. Like watching a 70-year-old Indiana Jones is a super great idea, no offense to Harrison Ford who is still a great actor today, but that role should be put to rest already for him. There are a few times where this has actually worked, as I mentioned before with Top Gun Maverick. Also, movies like Blade Runner 2049, Doctor Sleep, and T2 Trainspotting. Those movies actually had an interesting idea that used the real passage of time to tell good stories about where the characters ended up after the original movies and their new struggles. But that's not as common as just a movie that's trying desperately to recapture some magic from the past without actually doing anything interesting with its old characters. For them, name recognition alone is enough to just make them think people are going to watch the movie no matter what. The annoying thing is that it actually ends up working a lot of the time, as audiences see that the original cast is returning and will tune in to see their favorite characters return to the screen. But really most of the time it just takes the great endings they had in the original movies and ruins them by putting them in new stories that are disappointing or sometimes even ruin all the growth the characters had in the original movies. Another way you could potentially handle a sequel and make it interesting is by introducing a new cast of characters to possibly replace the original ones like in the recent Creed movies or the last two Mad Max movies. They take place in the same timeline as the originals but either recast the main characters or introduce new ones to take the place of the old ones. I think this method has had a bit more success, which also applies to Doctor Sleep and Blade Runner 2049. 


Hollywood continues its overreliance on sequels and well-known franchises instead of trying to create new ones for audiences to fall in love with. Or just make original movies that don't have to get 10 sequels. I also don't want you to think that I hate anything that is part of a huge franchise because that's not true. There are plenty of great movies that ARE sequels the problem lies more in Hollywood trying to force more sequels when there aren't really any more stories to tell in a franchise. Things like Jurassic Park keep getting sequels even when they haven't actually had an interesting story to tell since the original. But it's all about the money anyway, and if that money the studios were making ended up being used to make more original franchises then maybe it would all even out, but really it just ends up going into another franchise movie that costs 100 million to make... you know like Gladiator 2... I promise I'll give it a chance, but jeez that budget is making it so this movie pretty much HAS to be successful. It might also be Ridley Scott's last chance to prove to studios he can still make a big-budget movie that doesn't lose a ton of money, cause he has had some stinkers lately. 

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8/14/2024

Worst Songs of the 90s

 THE 90s! Tamagotchi, Nickelodeon, Power Rangers, Palm Pilots, FRIENDS, and lots of novelty songs that stayed stuck in your head for the rest of your life. Still, to this day I can't count to 5 without it turning into the opening lines of "Mambo No. 5". As iconic and memorable as a lot of the music of the 90s was, there are plenty of songs I only remember for being terrible and trying to erase them from my memory all these years. Actually, it was harder than I thought to find songs that I truly hated from the 90s as I looked back through all the playlists and hits. Lots of songs I thought I would hate I actually ended up being a lot kinder to now. I'll probably name some of those songs that get a lot of hate, but I still like. As for the worst songs, I'll put songs that are recognizable or by famous artists so that it's not just a bunch of indie stuff no one's actually listened to. But first... here are the songs that I actually ended up liking despite how much hate they seem to get from a lot of other people. 


Snow - "Informer"

I'll admit I can't understand most of what he's saying in his fake accent, but I don't care it's too catchy to hate. Also... A licky boom boom down? Does anyone know what that's about? 

Right Said Fred - "I'm Too Sexy"

I remember this song being a huge joke back in the day. Everyone just naming random objects that they were too sexy for was pretty fun I guess? A song so iconic that Drake and Taylor Swift used the melody in their own songs to terrible results. Still, this one is fun and harmless. 

Billy Ray Cyrus - "Achy Breaky Heart"

Yes, the achy breaky fart song. A wonderful mulleted man singing with all his heart about how breaky his achy heart is sounds like a dumb idea for a song... and that's because it is. But it's so fun anyway, why does it need to be hated? It breaks my achy bre- never mind. 

Los Del Rio - "Macarena"

It's the fucking Macarena, how can you hate the Macarena? You think you're too good for the Macarena? Get over yourself. HEYYY MACARENA!!

ANYWAY, one to the list proper here:

10. Creed - "With Arms Wide OPAAAN"

A band that probably gets more hate then they deserve, but sometimes I understand that hate when I listen to a song like "With Arms Wide Open". The message of the song isn't bad, a song about his doubts about being a father soon and how he's going to do everything he can for his new child despite the fears that come with being a new father. There's something about this song that always makes me feel strangely awful and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of how depressing and dreary it all sounds that just puts me in a bad mood whenever it plays. Scott's vocals aren't the worst in this particular song, but everything around him is just sucking all the life out of whatever room this is playing in. 

9. Savage Garden - "I Knew I Loved You" (1999)

There's a certain level of cheesy romantic song I enjoy and this certainly crosses that line. The overly sappy lyrics paired with the stereotypical acoustic guitar and even using chimes to go into the chorus are just too much. The vocals don't really help with the super breathy verses and falsetto choruses really taking the song from cheesy to unlistenable. I don't know, I've always found this song annoying even as a kid when I heard it on the radio in the car. It's just one of those songs that never clicked with me and I often found myself annoyed when it came on. 

8. Lou Bega - "Mambo No. 5" (1999)

ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE is an instantly recognizable line from 90s pop music and if you were alive in the year 1999 this song was everywhere. When I say everywhere, I MEAN EVERYWHERE. Not only becoming the number one song in dozens of countries (except, the USA for some reason), but also getting tons of play on TV, commercials, and sporting events. There was even a Disney version where Lou replaced all the girls' names with Disney characters... that's how big the song was. The song was originally created in 1950 in Cuba by a Mambo/Jazz musician named Damasco Perez Prado. Lou Bega mixed the original music with more modern pop elements and added his iconic lyrics where he talks about all the women he's sleeping with by name-dropping them all in the chorus. It's hard not to deny the song has a bit of charm musically, but it doesn't make up for a lot of the annoying things Lou does with his parts. He doesn't have the best voice and his charm (if you can call it that?) leaves a lot to be desired. 


7. LFO - "Summer Girls" (1999)


Starting the song with the lines "New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick" has to be one of the worst ways to open a song. Like right out of the gate you know you're in for disappointment. The song doesn't get any better from there, with even more awful lines coming from three guys with less charisma combined than one Lou Bega. Each verse is somehow worse than the last followed by one fart of a chorus that leaves you wondering how this song was actually ever a hit. The funniest thing is how they repeat the line "You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch" multiple times like it's the best pickup line ever created by humankind. Either that or the song was somehow sponsored by the clothing brand itself. The song came out at the peak of the boy band craze, which makes how popular the song became make a little more sense. These guys weren't even as good as most of the other big names like Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, and Boyzone. Yes, Boyzone. 


6. Rednex - "Cotton Eye Joe"


I feel like a lot of people might be annoyed by the placement of this song on this list, but hear me out... this song is really annoying. The song has been a staple at weddings and other similar events for decades now, but it doesn't make me hate it any less. When the DJ puts this one on the playlist, well I lose a little respect for him honestly. To be fair, people do seem to enjoy this song and I'm totally okay with that. Personally, the song just feels like a loud mess of Europop and country dance mixed into a very annoying 3 minutes. The mix of the different genres just never really did it for me along with the vocals that give the song no help in being any less annoying. So yeah, perfect time to go to the bathroom or get some air when this song comes on.


5. Bryan Adams - "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You

Listening to this Bryan Adams song is the equivalent of watching paint dry. The only thing worse than an annoying dance song is a really boring generic love song. I don't know why, but I have a strange hatred for this song... which feels like a lot of the songs on this list. Maybe it's how much it played on the radio and TV growing up, but even after all these years this song still does nothing for me. This feels like the kind of song an AI would make if you asked it to make the most generic 80s love song ever made. 


4. Shawn Mullins - "Lullaby" (1998)

Anyone under the age of 20 is probably wondering who this guy is, and you really don't need to know. He had one big hit, which was this song called "Lullaby". A song that had a mildly catchy chorus, but that's about all it had. The music sounds like any other alternative radio song you'd hear in the late 90s. The verses verge on creepy as Shawn sort of talks/mumbles his way through them saying a bunch of useless stuff until he can finally get to the hook. Look I don't know a ton about this guy, but from the other songs I listened to, it sounds like he makes decent country music. Unfortunately, his biggest hit is also one of the worst songs to really get to know his music. 


3. Collective Soul - "Shine" (1994)

I have a strange hatred for this song and it's probably not completely fair. You know when you hear about how amazing something is over and over and then when you finally experience it you feel completely underwhelmed. That was this song for me, all I ever heard was how great it was, and when I finally gave it a listen it completely let me down. I will say that this song does have a few moments I kinda like, mostly the solo in the middle of the song really. Besides that, it's a typical grunge song without much that makes it stand out. The vocals aren't very interesting and the chorus isn't as memorable as everyone seems to think it is. Outside of that small solo, the guitar riff that plays throughout most of the song is pretty boring too. The song just feels like it's a little bit too slow and it just annoys me. Maybe it's not bad enough to really belong on this list, but I just feel annoyed by how much love this mediocre song gets I suppose. Maybe one day it'll grow on me... I can only hope. 


2. S Club - "Bring It All Back" (1999)

A group that was much much bigger in the UK, but still had decent success outside of that area too. S Club 7 was a pop group with 7 members who were all fairly young (late teens-early twenties). The group was actually started by Simon Fuller who had just been recently fired as the manager of the Spice Girls. S Club was more for younger audiences and the music was meant to appeal to the youth of the 90s, probably comparable to One Direction in the 2010s or a lot of those Disney pop stars like Hannah Montana and The Jonas Brothers. They have a few decent songs and they're actually still doing shows to this day. But "Bring It All Back" is a song that I really do not like. Even as a kid, I found this song to be too positive and cheesy, it just sounds like it's trying too hard to be this super happy song. Really it just feels so fake and corporate in its execution, like real people don't write music like this even when they're trying to be positive. It's like the Flinstones Vitamins of music, yeah it's good for you and it sounds like something you should like... but you're much happier when it's finally over.  

1. Warrant - "Cherry Pie" (1990)

With the rest of the songs on this list, I can at least find some positives in them. Every other song on this list I will listen to again at some point for nostalgia reasons or just because I know other people can have fun with them. This fucking song though... I can't find a single reason to be positive about this piece of crap. I'm honestly pretty sure this song was a huge reason why the hair metal genre died in the early 90s. To be fair, that genre was already on its way out but this song certainly sped up the process of hair metal's death. It's such a sleazy and gross song with some of the worst lyrics you'll hear in a rock song. Clearly, these guys wanted to be the new Poison or Motley Crue, but all they ended up being was a one-hit wonder whose song was mostly used as a punchline for bad jokes. Like when the characters in a movie go to a strip club and the dancer comes out to this song, but it turns out the stripper is one of the character's mom. That kind of joke. It's interesting because this is really similar to what happened to grunge music in the early 2000s. Lots of artists trying to ride the final wave of grunge's popularity and scoring one-hit wonder status. Thankfully lots of great rock music that actually innovated the genre came out after this and we got a ton of great rock music in those 10 years. But it wasn't before some growing pains and the last of the 80s trends finally died off. By the way the song "Cherry Pie" is about sex in case you didn't get that listening to it. 

I should probably mention I quite enjoy some hair metal bands, it's just that the early '90s had a lot of trash that just wasn't doing the genre any favors, and the fact that it had already been years past its peak popularity and was only going down. It was time to let it go. 
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6/09/2024

Billboard Top 10 Songs Review June 2024

 It's been about 4 months since I did one of these Billboard reviews. Now that it's about to be Summer and the popular songs are finally changing I thought it would be nice to do a look at the top 10 songs in the country right now. Two songs are still surprisingly on the top 10 after 4 months and that's Teddy Swim's Lose Control and Benson Boone's Beautiful Things. I honestly haven't gone back to those two songs at all after reviewing them, even though I remember being more positive on them. Just not my cup of tea I guess, songs that are fine but not really something I like to listen to on repeat. So let's get into it and see if things are any better than they were back in February. 


1. Post Malone and Morgan Wallen - "I Had Some Help"

Two artists I'm not the biggest fan of teamed up to make a big new single that hit #1 in the country. It's a match that makes sense as both artists have had big success on their own so why not collab and make a huge hit together. The song is more of a Morgan Wallen pop-country style song than what Post Malone usually puts out there. I'm annoyed to say I really like this song actually and I've listened to it a decent amount of times even before I started writing this. If you've read my previous posts then you know I'm not a Morgan Wallen fan at all, in fact, I think his music is pretty awful especially the last two albums he released. Even artists I'm not big on can make a great song though and this is certainly that. I think Post Malone takes all the annoying aspects of Wallen's music and focuses on his strengths for once, not his terrible lyrics and boring pop-country production. Instead, we get a fun song with good instrumentation that actually feels like it has some life behind it. If Wallen tried to stick to a sound like this, I think I might actually be more of a fan of his music. Somehow I doubt this will be his turning point, but I guess I can hope. 

Grade: B+


2. Kendrick Lamar - "Not Like Us"

Seems like a lifetime ago that the Drake and Kendrick beef was happening and they were releasing multiple diss tracks against each other. Really, it's barely been a month since that happened. I'm not going to get into the whole story of the beef, but all you need to know if for whatever reason you didn't hear about it is that Drake was pretty much destroyed by this song and he wasn't able to make a good comeback to defend himself against this one. I think it's obvious when this song hit number one on the charts and is still hanging strong at number 2 a month later. Kendrick teamed up with DJ Mustard for the beat to this one and it worked so well. Making a diss track that's one of the catchiest songs of the year is pretty genius. It's pretty crazy the song of the summer might be the song that's calling Drake a pedo. I do feel the need to say that I don't know how true any of the things Kendrick calls out Drake for on this track, but if they are true it's pretty brutal and a strong KO punch in their diss track fight. I mean I've seen some creepy videos of Drake acting inappropriately towards younger fans, that was a while back so who knows if he kept that behavior up, but it didn't look good at the time. At the end of the day the song is catchy, hits hard lyrically, and did the job it set out to do. I will say that this beef did inspire Drake to release one of the best things he's done recently in "Family Matters" so that's a bonus. 

Grade: B+

3. Tommy Richman - "MILLION DOLLAR BABY"

The recent trend of having song titles in all caps continues with MILLION DOLLAR BABY!!! Dumb trend aside, this one was actually interesting from an artist I had no idea existed a few minutes ago. I really like the beat most of all, but Tommy himself isn't too bad. Though it almost feels like the beat is drowning out most of Tommy's vocals because of how strong it is, or maybe it's just the production that made it feel like this. There's a lot to like here, so maybe I need to dive deeper into this new artist and see what else is on offer. 

Grade: B

4. Shaboozey - "A Bar Song (Tipsy)"

The first two things that stand out are the awful artist name and the worst song title. The second thing that stands out is how boring this song is. "Everybody at the bar getting tipsy" I guess is a reference to the song "Tipsy" from like 2004. A more obvious reference to J-Kwon's "Tipsy" is him singing the actual verses from that song during the pre-chorus. It's... an interesting choice to reference a song that wasn't that great to begin with. I don't know, this song just doesn't do anything for me and it's references to an old 2004 hit are mildly funny at best and just make the song feel a bit lame. 

Grade: D

5. Billie Eilish - "LUNCH"

Billie released her much-anticipated album "Hit Me Hard and Soft" last month to a ton of success. Personally, I think it's one of the best albums of the year and it's probably Billie's best album to date. The standout single here is "Lunch", while not my favorite of the album, it's still one of the best songs. To be fair every song on the album is one of the best songs. This one has a strong bass line, subtle guitars, and keys along with strong lyrics by Billie. The production on this album is about as close to perfect as you could get for a Billie Eilish project. Everything just works so well I literally have nothing bad to say about this... except the all caps song title again. 

Grade: A+

6. Sabrina Carpenter - "Espresso"

Here is a strong contender for the song of the summer this year. I really like the city-pop vibes the music gives me, especially the bass line. It's very of the times to have a song that has a heavy bass carrying the song with the usual synth and light guitar elements thrown in. It's not groundbreaking in that regard, but man it's extremely catchy and short/sweet. I can't say I've ever been a huge of this artist, a lot of times it feels like she's just chasing the current trends of big artists... but if it means making more songs like this then I'm not going to complain about it. To be fair this is just the way pop music goes most of the time anyway, roll with the trends and take inspiration from the biggest artists. 

Grade: A


9. Hozier - "Too Sweet"

To my disappointment, "Too Sweet" is not a reference to 90s wrestling. This is Hozier's second big hit after his first album's song "Take Me to Church" took the world by storm 10 years ago. Actually, "Too Sweet" ended up being his number-one hit here in the USA as his previous hit only got to the second spot. The track "Too Sweet" was released earlier this year on an EP of unreleased songs from his last album. Kind of funny that his biggest hit was from a song that wasn't even meant to be on his last album, but it's not the first time that's happened to an artist actually. "Too Sweet" has the signature Hozier songwriting and his soulful voice alongside some bluesy rock. It's a solid track, one worthy of being a hit and hopefully get more ears on this growing artist. 

Grade: B+

10. Taylor Swift - "Fortnight" *Feat Post Malone

One of the stronger songs from Taylor's last album "The Tortured Poets Department". My opinions on that new album were all over the place really, I think it's one of her weaker albums in a while and I'm not sure it's really on Swift herself. It doesn't help the album that it's 2 hours long (if you listen to the full version), though I think I liked the second half of the album a lot more than the first 16 tracks. "Fortnight" sounds like a mix of the Midnights and Folklore style. It's a solid opening track with good lyrics and a nice relaxing dreampop sound. My only complaint is just Post Malone as a singer I've never been a big fan of and it maybe would've been better with a different artist. Small complaint, still an overall good song.

Grade: B-


To my surprise, almost every song I reviewed here got a positive score except one. It was a strong week for the top 10  with a lot of interesting music and some songs I will be listening to more of in the following weeks. Most of these songs I've heard before, to be honest, but I still really enjoyed listening to them for this and a nice bonus of hearing a new song I like in "MILLION DOLLAR BABY". Things are looking pretty good for pop music... hopefully it keeps heading in a good direction throughout the summer. 


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3/21/2024

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 25th Anniversary Rewatch/Review

 It's not really shocking anymore to see something I loved as a kid turning 25 years old in just a few months. 





My relationship with Star Wars has changed a lot in the last 10 years. It was a franchise I loved growing up and I even loved the prequel movies as a kid because, of course, I didn't really see all of their flaws until I was older. Star Wars has become something that I don't really care too much about these days with it being one of the two Disney properties that's been overused since they acquired it. But that's what happening now, today I want to look back at how the franchise was seen in 1999 and the quality of the first Star Wars movie after the original trilogy. 


It had been 16 years since Return of the Jedi had hit theatres and audiences had been waiting over a decade and a half for a new movie to finally be released. 1999 was the year, as The Phantom Menace was set to be released in the early summer window. Fans were so excited to see this movie that many even bought tickets to see a movie in the theatre just to watch the new Star Wars trailer and then leave before the actual movie started (Imagine buying Tickets to see "Never Been Kissed" just to see the Star Wars trailer). This was maybe the most anticipated movie of all time at that point. The day finally came to watch the big movie and audiences were left...  confused? I think the excitement for the movie was so big that a lot of fans were left just wanting to defend the movie because there's no way they waited all this time for a mediocre movie like this.  There are certainly true defenders of The Phantom Menace, but most fans will tell you it's probably the worst Star Wars movie out of all of them, though there have been some contenders for that title after its release. But just how bad is this movie?


Look, there are certainly moments where this movie shines, but those few times aren't enough to keep this from being a bad film overall. Pretty much everyone always says that the final fight against Darth Maul is what saves this movie from being a total disaster and they do have a point, but we'll get to that later. I want to actually rewatch the movie and see what holds up and what doesn't. Also, I want to try to maybe remember the things I liked as a kid and if I still feel the same way or not. So here's my review of the classic film Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace!? 


I must admit the opening seconds of the movie where the main theme plays just before the iconic word crawl begins got me pretty excited despite knowing the movie isn't good. That excitement faded quickly as the text crawl just goes on about trade and tax disputes, how exciting. That leads me to my first big problem with the movie... the Trade Federation. As a kid, it's something you just sit through while waiting for the action sequences or seeing more Jedi. As an adult, it's somehow even more boring when you can actually understand what they're talking about. It's all a big struggle that has to do with blockades and the growing tension between the Trade Federation and The Republic. This was the spark that would eventually lead to the Clone Wars in the second movie and beyond. This movie starts with the Jedi finally being asked to get involved only to almost be assassinated immediately before the peace talks even begin. The two Jedi, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, easily escape the assassination attempt and they now need to warn the Republic of the army that's being prepared to attack Naboo. The stakes are set pretty early and at least the movie starts off with some action, though they make it known pretty fast just how useless the droids are against the Jedi. 


So Jar-Jar is introduced very early on in the movie. He has become a notorious character for his annoying dialog and stupid hijinks that bring the story down and don't work well with the other characters. I thought maybe it had gotten overblown over time, but after watching the movie again I can say that he is in fact, incredibly annoying. Just twenty minutes into the movie I wanted him to stop talking and go away. The point of his character was to keep the kids entertained throughout the boring Trade Federation dispute and act as a comic relief like C-3PO in the original trilogy. He was so bad that they just brought back C-3PO in the next movie to be the comic relief again. His main problem is how he just never stops talking and how he annoys everyone around him by being clumsy and rude to his "friends". But Qui-Gon seems like he's just keeping him around out of pity and because it's given Jar Jar's life some meaning. He just never feels like he belongs in this story. 


Something I loved as a kid and still love now is the great use of practical effects, real sets, and good costumes. Everything looks like it took forever to make with great detail and I still appreciate it and how it makes the world feel more real. It's really nice to see the actors interacting with actual props and sets instead of just green/blue screens. The special effects are mostly good too, obviously dated but a lot of it still looks quite good even after all these years. The only things that stand out as outdated are some of the CGI characters like Jar Jar who is often around the actors and it makes it stand out a lot more. One of the things I missed was the puppet version of Yoda that was replaced by the CGI Yoda to match his appearance in episodes II and III. It makes sense, especially when you see how hideous they made the puppet Yoda in Phantom Menace compared to the original movies. After seeing the pictures of the original puppet Yoda, I have to say it's a good thing they replaced him with CGI because he was one hideous puppet. 


I find it funny how Star Wars was able to create a more useless army than the Stormtroopers with the new droid army. People make fun of the original trilogy and how bad the Stormtroopers were at hitting any target, but the droids are so weak that a Jedi can just lightly push them over and they stop working. The basic droids are so small and weak, it's impossible to see them as anything other than a joke. The movie also uses them as comic relief as they constantly mess things up in battle and have a hard time doing simple tasks. At least some of the other models look cooler and deadlier, but we don't get to see as many in this movie. From what I remember, Episode II makes the droids look more threatening, but in this first movie, they are a joke. 


Before I go back to the story, I wanted to mention how much I like the cast in this movie. I mean, the cast was mostly made up of great established actors or actors who would go on to be really great in other movies like Portman and McGregor. The one unfortunate casting was poor Jake Lloyd as young Anakin. He got a lot of hate over the years for this movie and it's sad to see because I really don't see it being his fault entirely. The writing they gave him was pretty awful and I'm certain the directing didn't help him either as we saw many great talents put on poor performances in the prequel trilogy. The way a lot of the characters talk to each other often just feels unnatural, especially when it comes to romance... but that's more of an Episode II problem. 


I really think having Anakin introduced as a child was a big mistake anyway because it really takes away from his story of eventually becoming Darth Vader. A lot of the qualities he has in this movie, like being a great pilot and really tech-savvy, aren't really expanded upon in the following movies much. That's why this whole story felt like it should have started when he was at least an older teen and already a Jedi training with Obi-Wan. Meeting his future wife Padme as a little kid was also pretty weird, not helped by the overly cheesy dialog that foreshadows their romance. 


Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan finding Anakin in the first place feels like a huge coincidence as they find themselves stranded on the desert planet Tatooine trying to fix their ship. We're introduced to the beautiful Watto and all his charisma. He is a sleazy slave owner who owns Anakin and his mother and has them work at his shop. He's one of the more interesting side characters in the prequels, but mostly just because of his connection to Anakin and his memorable design.  The whole Tatooine part of the movie is there to show Anakin's background and skills before he eventually gets to become a Jedi. I actually forgot how they completely sideline Obi-Wan for the entire Tatooine section of the movie, leaving him on the ship to do nothing. It feels like a missed opportunity to not have Obi-Wan and Anakin interact more in this first movie to build on their future friendship. I wonder if the story would have been slightly better if the Qui-Gon role was erased and Obi-Wan just took over his role. 


Anakin is shown to be a selfless boy genius and Qui-Gon immediately takes a liking to him and senses something special in him. To prove his point he agrees to let Anakin race for him in the Podrace coming up to win enough money to repair their broken ship. This leads to one of the scenes that many Star Wars fans despise... While fixing a cut Anakin got while fixing his racer, Qui-Gon decides to take a small sample of his blood to get tested by Obi-Wan. This results in Obi-Wan scanning his blood for midi-chlorians and finding out he has the highest count he's ever seen. A new twist was added to the Jedi lore that made it so certain people are born with special blood cells that give them the potential to become stronger with the Force. The more midi-chlorians the more potential to be a powerful Jedi. It made it so that certain people were born to become Jedi and not that it was something anyone could do with training and dedication. It felt like it was just created to have a way to tell audiences that Anakin was a one-of-a-kind prospect to be a Jedi. I guess Qui-Gon could have just said he feels the Force from Anakin more than he's felt from anyone else his age? Would that not have been good enough?


One small side note: Jar-Jar becomes doubly annoying throughout their stay at Tatooine. They should have left him there. 


After an hour of mostly mediocre scenes, we finally get to one of the standout parts of the movie, PODRACING. It's still a lot of fun, though the CGI does look dated at times, it's easy to look past. There's a great sense of speed in these scenes that really makes it look like it's incredibly dangerous. The Podracer designs mostly look cool, some being a little too silly. The only awkward part is when they show Anakin's face during the race and it looks pretty bad, unfortunately. It's all fun though, a part of Star Wars that wasn't ever really touched on again in the movies but it was fun to see what a sport in the Star Wars universe would look like. 


After another couple of boring scenes building up to the big finale we finally get to see the battle of Naboo. The battle is separated into three major parts: the Gungan army vs the Droid army, the space battle where the Republic army is trying to destroy the Droid command center, and the battle of the Jedi vs the Sith. We get a main character to take us through each battle with Anakin in space, Jar-Jar with the Gungans, and of course, Obi-Wan and Qu-Gon taking on the Sith. Actually, there's also Padme leading her royal troops to take back the throne. The movie cuts between those four battles going on as they all affect each other. The epic music does a lot of heavy lifting as "Dual of the Fates" is one of the most iconic songs in Star Wars and probably movies in general. I think a lot of the battles don't really feel that interesting because it's mostly showing characters I don't really care too much about and the battle I want to see the most (Jedi vs Sith) is interrupted a lot. 


Jar-Jar proves yet again how worthless he is as he fumbles around like a coward on the battlefield, but all his clumsiness somehow ends up working for the most part as he accidentally destroys multiple Droids. All that leads to nothing as the Gungan army ends up losing the battle anyway and they are forced to surrender. You know your army sucks when you lose to the Droids, but I guess their sheer numbers are impossible to match. That all changes when Anakin accidentally flies into the Droid control center and destroys it, leading the entire droid army to shut down entirely and ensuring victory for The Republic and the Gungans. It's just funny how the entire victory was all based on an accident by Anakin who had no idea what he was doing. The fact that the entire battle would be lost if the Droid control ship was destroyed seems like a terrible plan by the Trade Federation. Having one specific weak point that your enemy already knows about is really stupid war tactics, get a grip. I guess Anakin didn't learn from this experience here when he eventually made the Death Star with the Emperor. 


Now to talk about fan-favorite Darth Maul. He's introduced around the halfway point of the movie as Palpatine chooses him to take out Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. He is a Sith Lord who uses the iconic saberstaff, which I believe was the first time we saw a different type of lightsaber in the Star Wars universe. It was awesome and his design is so iconic, even in his short appearance he left a lasting impression. Unfortunately, he didn't make it past this movie because he could have been a great villain to keep around and torment Obi-Wan in the following movies. Maybe Lucas wasn't expecting him to be such a standout, but he did eventually come back in the animated series Clone Wars and even made a cameo in the Han Solo movie... which went nowhere. The battle in this movie is totally different than all the battles we saw in the original trilogy. Here it's all about flair, acrobatics, and speed, unlike the first movies where it was all emotion and power. It actually seems pretty tame in this movie when compared to what we'll see in episodes II and III. 


Maul defeats Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan later outsmarts Maul and cuts him clean in half as he falls down a neverending hole. Qui-Gon was a mildly interesting character, but one that I feel could have been completely replaced by Obi-Wan as I said earlier. His character is meant to be the one who discovers Anakin and sets him on the path to becoming a Jedi, but I don't see why Obi-Wan couldn't have been the one to do that. It could have made their relationship even stronger going into the next movie and not have Obi-Wan feel like he's forced to train Anakin as a favor to his master. Considering how much they bicker and complain about each other in the next movie, maybe they could've changed that relationship completely. One of the main issues with this trilogy is how they treat the Obi-Wan and Anakin relationship, which is more of a problem in the next two movies so if I ever do those I'll dive deeper into those issues. 


So the good guys win in the end and they celebrate their victory with a parade as peace once again finds Naboo. Obi-Wan is left to train Anakin as that's what Qui-Gon wants to see in the end, as he believes Anakin is the key to the future of the Force. The Phantom Menace is an interesting movie for sure, one that has a special place in my life as the first Star Wars movie I saw and a movie I loved dearly growing up. There's still nostalgia when watching this movie that makes me feel happy and remember the good times, but man does this movie kind of suck. For all the good things it does, it feels like it does 5 wrong things to make up for it. Wasting a great cast of actors by having them read boring dialog and find ways to not have any chemistry with each other. Introduce a completely useless character in Jar-Jar who does nothing but annoy his "friends" the entire movie and almost get everyone killed. Having Anakin introduced as a child also felt like a huge mistake as a lot of the qualities they showed in him in this movie don't even really get brought up in the next two movies. Not having Anakin and Obi-Wan interact outside of just saying hello to each other felt like another missed opportunity. The movie feels like it wastes too much time on things that don't really end up mattering in the trilogy and is held back by bad writing and pacing. The good things I'll remember from this movie are the great effects (that still mostly look good especially considering it's been 25 years), the score, sets, costumes, and makeup. Some great ideas with the world-building and cool iconic designs for the ships, droids, cities, and alien races. The beautiful Watto who I want to marry, Darth Maul, and Podracing. And the last thing I'll remember is Samuel L Jackson as a Jedi because that's just awesome. 


So yeah, this movie is not good but it's still pretty entertaining to watch despite all its flaws. It could all just be nostalgia, but it's nice to look back at something I loved as a kid and see how different I feel about it 25 years later. Thankfully I won't have to review the even worse Attack of the Clones... unless you really want me to? 


 



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2/21/2024

Here's to me being out of touch with modern music: Episode 540142

 It's been a few months since I checked in on what's going on in the mainstream music charts. Usually, for the first month or so of the year, it's a lot of carryover from the last year as the new big singles start to drop from big artists throughout the early months. I also just happened to check the list out when the Grammy-boosted songs came back to the top 10 (Flowers and Fast Car shooting back up to the top 10 after winning awards last week). This week, only 2 songs on the top 10 are from 2024 and the rest are from last year or older. We still got Cruel Summer by Taylor from 2019 hanging out in the charts right now. Actually, most of the songs in the top 10 have been on the Hot 100 charts for over 4 months now. Things don't seem to want to change in the music scene these days. At least not until the big names start dropping new singles. Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa, Ariana Grande, and Billie Eilish are all dropping new albums this year, and most likely other big artists who haven't announced it yet. There are also a lot of newer names in the charts I am not really familiar with so I'll be interested to see what they have to offer too. 


I'll be looking at the biggest songs in the USA here, but I will be skipping a few that I've talked about multiple times already because of how long they've been on the charts now. But here's my feelings on each of those anyway:


#4 Taylor Swift - "Cruel Summer"

Well, this song is close to lasting the entire winter season on the charts. Do people miss Summer that much? With how bad the weather has been I can't say I blame them. The song is still great, easily the best from her "Lover" album. With new music coming out soon this one should be replaced by a new song of hers soon anyway. 


#5 SZA - "Snooze"

This one has been on the charts for almost 14 months, which is A LOT. Even though I enjoy this song I don't think many songs can stay in the mainstream that long without me eventually getting tired of them. This song is okay overall, but I'd be happy to see it finally drop out of the charts. SZA is dropping some new music sometime this year so there will be something to look forward to there. 


#8 Luke Combs - "Fast Car"

Another song that's been here for far too long. Much like "Snooze", I don't mind this song overall but also would be happy to see it go. To be fair it was on its way down until it got a new boost after the Grammy Awards. It's also brought more attention to Tracy Chapman, which is never a bad thing.


#10 Miley Cyrus - "Flowers"

Just a few weeks away from being on the charts for a whole year. "Flowers" ended up winning Record of the Year at the Grammy Awards, which probably explains this boost back into the top 10. I think I've had enough of this song for a long time, I can probably go a year or two without listening to this one again. It was fun while it lasted, but you need to go away now, please. 


Now, let's look at some of the newer songs...


1. Jack Harlow - "Lovin On Me"

Harlow's latest single climbed up the charts and after spending a week at number 2, this week it took over the 1 spot from Megan's "HISS" (we'll talk about that one later). When it comes to Harlow, it's been hit or miss throughout a lot of his career for me. His most anticipated album came out while he was white-hot in popularity back in 2022. That album (Come Home the Kids Miss You) ended up being a big letdown considering the hype around it. He quickly came back with a new album "Jackman." the following year that was a big improvement. Late last year we got a new single "Lovin On Me" that climbed up the charts until getting to number 1. The new song samples Cadillac Dale's 1995 song "Whatever" of course with a modern twist. It actually ends up working really well with Harlow's verses connecting the sample that's the song's hook. At least this one feels finished, unlike the time he tried to sample Fergie's "Glamorous" to mediocre results. I don't know where this really leaves Harlow as a big name for me... I see the potential here for a truly big star, but I still want to see more consistency in his quality of music. 

Overall Grade: B+


2. Teddy Swims - "Lose Control"

Yeah, this is where I find myself at a place where I don't really know a lot about what's going on in modern music anymore. Who is Teddy Swims? Why is Teddy Swims? How? Well from what I've heard so far it seems like his music had some classic soul vibes like maybe Leon Bridges or maybe Black Pumas. It's a style that has seems to have a big audience right now, maybe with a mix of people wanting some throwbacks to a time they were younger or people who just appreciate that style of music. You can't really do this style of music if you can't sing your ass off, and Teddy Swims can certainly do that. While I am a fan of artists in this genre, I don't think this particular artist is going to be for me. I'll give his music more listens for sure, but just from what I've heard so far it doesn't really click with me, unfortunately, because I do see the appeal. 

Overall Grade: C+


3. Benson Boone - "Beautiful Things"

To my surprise, Benson Boone is actually an artist I have some knowledge of. I remember listening to his singles "In the Stars" and "Ghost Town" a few years ago and enjoying them enough. After listening to this newer single "Beautiful Things" I think I understand the appeal a lot more. It's funny because the first minute of the song I was afraid this was going to be just another generic pop-rock song from an artist I thought could do more. Thankfully the chorus really pulls a  180 and drops some passionate loud vocals with some actual energy behind them and really brings the song to life. If not for that, this could have just been any other song I've heard by this kind of artist. It's enough to keep my interest in Boone, but not enough to really become a fan of his just yet. 

Overall Grade: C+


6. Zach Bryan & Kacey Musgraves - "I Remember Everything"

Two of modern country music's biggest names team up in this new single. A very slow and melancholy song where Bryan remembers an old relationship that didn't last. Nothing but regret and feeling bad about how things went as he struggles with the memories of the person he was with. Kacey plays his ex as she sings about how he just can't get his life together enough for her to feel like she's getting enough attention from him. It's an interesting topic and it's done pretty well. This is also the kind of song I just can't see myself listening to very often unless I'm just looking for a certain type of sadness or melancholy. 

Overall Grade: C


7. Tate McRae - "Greedy"

Ah yes, Tate McRae, one of the biggest pop artists in the world apparently. The first time I heard about this artist was on Twitter when everyone was shocked to find out she had over 50 million monthly listeners on Spotify. Since then I've checked out a few of her songs and I unfortunately just can't get into it at all. Her music just doesn't make me feel anything other than bored most of the time because I feel she lacks an identity. I will say "Greedy" is probably the best song I've heard from her at this point. It's at least decent, with a catchier chorus than a lot of her other songs and a decent beat. I would say this is a step in the right direction, but this song came out like 6 months ago. Not an artist I'm interested in hearing more from at all, but it looks like she's going to be around for a while. 

Overall Grade: C-


9. Doja Cat - "Agora Hills"

The second biggest single from Doja Cat's latest album climbed into the top 10 after the first single "Paint the Town Red" slipped down the charts. Doja's latest album dropped early in the fall last year to mixed reception. Clocking at nearly an hour long because pop artists don't know how to keep an album at a decent length when it doesn't even have enough good material in it to last 30 minutes. I will say "Agora Hills" is one of the best songs on the album. It's a slower moodier song, which feels different than a lot of their other hits. I really like the beat and atmosphere the song has going for it and Doja also does a good job with her flow to make it really interesting. The song is all about how Doja wants to show off her man to the world while also doing it in public places and hoping to get caught? I guess it's a mixture of both things. But for whatever reason it's not something she can do so it feels like maybe she's singing about a fantasy she wants, but can't have with her current man. It's interesting and that paired with the music makes for a pretty great track. 

Overall Grade: B


11. Noah Kahan - "Stick Season"

Noah's stick season has been slowly rising through the charts since late last year. The album this song is from was released in late 2022, but only recently started gaining a big surge in popularity. Last year he even released an extended version of his "Stick Season" album from 2022. In that album, he released collabs with some pretty big names in music like Post Malone, Sam Fender, Hozier, and Kacey Musgrave. Clearly, he's got the potential to be a big name in music going forward. So is his big mainstream hit any good? Well... yeah it's really good actually. It reminds me of the kind of folk and singer-songwriter music that was getting popular around the late 2000s and early 2010s like Passenger, Vance Joy, and The Lumineers. A style of music that felt like it came and went pretty quickly from mainstream popularity. Is this the time for a full comeback? Probably not, but it's nice to see more songs in this style getting attention. "Stick Season" has one of the catchiest choruses I've heard in a while from this style of music, maybe since The Lumineers' "Ho Hey". I think Noah will have a good career now on his own, but time will tell if he will be a big mainstream success going forward. The way things usually play out for these types of artists tells me no he won't have that kind of success, but I can at least hope. 

Overall Grade: B+


12. Megan Thee Stallion - "HISS"

Megan's second big single of the past few months, this is the follow-up to "Cobra". The song has gotten a lot of attention for the lyrics Megan uses. It even led to Nicki Minaj writing a follow-up diss track to try to respond to what Megan said in this song "Hiss". Nicki's song was one of the worst things I've heard all year, so that's how that went. Megan's "Hiss" is a very solid song that goes into a lot of her personal life while calling out all the people who gave her shit or tried to go against her. I think it does a good job of doing what it's intended to do, which I guess is to make Megan look like a badass rapper. Yeah, Megan is good and after hearing what Nicki had to offer as a response in her diss track "Big Foot" I think it's safe to say Megan won this one by a landslide. To be fair, I don't really care about this beef, but I just judge it by the quality of the songs and it was clear that Nicki was out of ideas as soon as the song began.

Overall Grade: B-

-BONUS ROUND-

I started writing this a few days before the Billboard Hot 100 was updated and since I didn't finish it right away the new list has been released. So I will now cover the two new big songs that debuted in the top 10! Starting with the new hit song from... BEYONCE?!


Beyonce - "TEXAS HOLD 'EM"

Is writing song titles in all caps the cool thing to do these days? Beyonce returned to the charts this week with her new single which she dropped along with her big Super Bowl commercial. Well... it's certainly not what I was expecting from her. A big pop-country-style song from Beyonce was not on my 2024 bingo card, but honestly, I should have really known with how big country music was last year that this was possible. I don't know about this one though, it's honestly not bad but it's also pretty dull considering the artist making it. I think this has a chance to grow on me with time, but for now, I'll say it's a letdown compared to her last few singles. So Beyonce is doing country, does that mean Taylor Swift's new album is going to be a House album? 

Overall Grade: C


Kanye West - "CARNIVAL"

Man, I was really hoping I didn't have to talk about this one... So I won't. 

Overall Grade: Who gives a shit


Conclusion?


It actually ended up being mostly enjoyable listening to these new songs. There weren't really any terrible songs (that I actually covered), but also nothing really stood out as amazing. "Stick Season" and "Lovin On Me" are songs I will be listening to more for sure, and probably "Agora Hills" too. Maybe 2024 isn't going to be so bad after all. Well, it's still early in the year so there's time for anything to happen. Stay positive. Listen to good music. 







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1/09/2024

Ranking the Major Streaming Services By How Much I Hate Them

 The year is 2024. Streaming services have taken over the world. There was a time when they looked to be the saviors of media, a killer to the evil known as cable. Over time the streaming services began to get greedy and all the major companies (except Sony for some reason) decided they needed their own streaming service just like Netflix and Hulu. Yes, there was a time when it was simple and it was mostly a choice between Netflix, Hulu, and maybe a premium cable channel like HBO or Showtime. Back in those days, the content each service had was plentiful, with tons of hit shows and movies from all kinds of studios being on just one service like Netflix. These days you also have to choose between all of these lovely services at what seems like always increasing prices and gimmicks. Here's a list of all the current big-name streaming apps:


NETFLIX: 7-23$ a month, the lowest tier has ads and non-HD with no multiple screens. The highest tier is 4 screens (in one household) with 4K and zero ads.

MAX: 10-20$ a month. The lowest tier has ads and the 16$ has no ads. The 20$ tier is just for a 4K upgrade. 

Hulu: 8 or 15$ a month. The price difference is just for ads or no ads. 

Disney +: 8 or 14$ a month. Much like Hulu, the only difference is ads or no ads.

Amazon Prime Video: 9$ a month or included in Amazon Prime subscription. Amazon will charge an additional 3$ starting soon for ad-free streaming. Gross. 

Apple TV+: 10$ a month. No tiers. 

Paramount+: 6 or 12$ a month. Basically another ad-free option if you pay more. 

Peacock: 6 or 12$ a month, again... ads or no ads is the difference. 

The total you would pay to have all of these at once at the lowest tier: 64$ a month

Total for having them all with no ads: 106.50$ a month... cool. That's not even including the 4k upgrades for Max and Netflix. Also not including some of the less popular services like Showtime and Starz. And there are also more specific services like Crunchyroll for anime and ESPN+ for sports that could be added to that list. But that's just the prices, not what the actual content in them includes. So here I will rank them based on how much I hate them, starting with the least hated to the most hated. Mostly focusing on original content, but bonus points for having great libraries of other non-original content. 


Don't hate: APPLE TV+

okay, well besides the fact that they just doubled the price from 5 dollars to 10 a month. That was a dumb thing to do, but of course, they were going to eventually do it with the amount of content increasing over time and them wanting to make more high-budget shows and movies to put on the service. Besides the annoying price though, I think this service has some of the best original shows and movies out there. Really the only weakness with this platform is that you can only use it to watch shows made by Apple and nothing else. I suppose there is an option to rent any movie on it, but that's extra money and I'm not counting that as included in the service. Some of my favorite shows of the last 5 years have been on this service though and they keep making some really great content that spans many genres. Shows like Ted Lasso, For All Mankind, Foundation, The After Party, and Bad Sisters are some of the best things I've watched in a very long time. So just for having the best original content, it's hard to really hate this streaming service. 

Favorite Show: Bad Sisters / For All Mankind

Barely hate: Hulu

Much like Apple TV+, this is another good stop for original content. The last few years alone they've had The Bear, Reservation Dogs, and Only Murders in the Building. That plus a large library of older originals and a huge library of shows and movies released by Fox and Disney. This is probably the best overall experience in my opinion with the amount of great things to watch. The fact that it's been around for so long helps. 

Favorite Show: Devs


Annoys me: Max

At one point in time, HBO was the king of original content. Some of the best shows of all time were exclusively here like Game of Thrones, Sopranos, The Wire, The Leftovers, and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Still to this day, they have some fantastic shows like House of the Dragon, Barry, The Last of Us, and White Lotus that are ongoing. The thing that's been so frustrating about this service has been the changes they've made in the last few years. With new leadership, they decided to get rid of the iconic HBO name and make it the boring MAX. That alone should be enough to get people fired. One thing that the company has started to do frequently is remove original shows from the app completely making it so there is nowhere to watch them on any service. To save money they deleted the great shows West World and Raised By Wolves in their entirety. That, plus scrap fully completed movies to get a tax write-off, like they did with Batgirl and a recent Looney Tunes movie. It's all headed in a bad direction, but they still manage to put out some great original content at the same time. That's why I find myself more annoyed than anything with MAX.

Favorite Show: The Leftovers

Mild hate: Amazon Prime

With this new addition of a no-ad tier for an extra 3$ a month, it's hard not to be mad at this service. Can't just leave things alone and let everyone enjoy the service for what it is... you have to upcharge for no adverts like everyone else has done at this point. Amazon's original content has always been hit or miss for me. Seems like for every great show, they make one that's easy to miss. With great shows like The Boys, The Expanse, Fleabag, and Invincible, it's easy to fall in love with this platform because of its high quality. But all that goes away with big disappointments like A League of Their Own, Carnival Row, Paper Girls, The Romanoffs, and that one Lord of the Rings show that they spent a billion making. It feels very hit-or-miss for me, but I think the good still outweighs the bad here. They also offer a decent amount of movies and shows from other networks/distributors that help make their library a little bigger. 

Favorite Show: The Expanse


Growing Hate: Peacock

The best thing about this service is that it doesn't have a + in the title? But honestly, when it comes to original content this one feels a bit dry. Yeah, it's a newer service when compared to a lot of the other ones, but that's not an excuse when Apple TV is also pretty new and has plenty of great content to watch. There are a few hits here like Poker Face, Twisted Metal, and Dr. Death recently. The rest of it just feels like filler and content I wouldn't have much interest in if there was nothing else to watch. I guess if you like reality TV this one is great, but that's not my cup of tea. The only thing saving this service for me is the live sports they show because if not for that I'd be out in a second. That and I guess having the Universal library of shows and movies is kind of nice? 

Favorite Show: Poker Face

A good amount of hate: Netflix

The one that started it all (kind of). Netflix has gone through so many changes in the last decade that it's nothing close to what it once was (for better and worse). The painful price increases along with the strict no-sharing policy they added really make this the most annoying service of them all. I mean the thing that really gets me is them charging 23$ a month for anyone who wants to watch on more than 2 devices at once in their own house. Oh, but they have an option to pay an extra 8$ on top of the 23$ if you want to share your account with someone who doesn't live with you. Cool. 

But besides the horrible pricing, the amount of content Netflix has is pretty crazy. Crazy how much of it is filler and easily skippable content. Yes, when it comes to quantity, Netflix is the king of streaming services, as they drop new content weekly for subscribers. The problem is that most of the content they drop isn't very good. Every now and then they will get a big hit movie or show that everyone will talk about for a month, but most of the time the content they release will be forgotten about forever. I mean when you make 100s of original movies and shows a year, of course, there will be a few that become big hits. If this were just about the number of things to watch then this would be the best streaming service. Also, the fear of finding a great show on Netflix only for it to be canceled after 2 seasons is always there. 

Favorite Show: Bojack Horseman / Mindhunter


Don't want to hate, but can't stop hating: Disney+

A service that provides a lot of great memories with childhood classics. The idea of Disney+ is better than the actual service actually is at this point. The massive library of all Disney content is useful to have if you are a parent or take care of kids, for sure. Looking for original content on this thing has been pretty bad though. The main focus here has been taking turns releasing original shows that take place in the Star Wars universe and then a show in the Marvel universe. Rinse and repeat. If you are not a fan of either of those two franchises then you probably won't get a lot of content for you here at the moment. The focus of this app is of course family content and most of it isn't that great. Really, most of it isn't worth watching if you don't have kids to watch it with. While there are some fantastic shows on here like Loki, Andor, and that Willow show they erased, most of the content is easily skippable. It doesn't look like that's going to change much either, with tons of Marvel and Star Wars shows scheduled to come out in the next few years. Bleh. 

Favorite Show: Andor

Yeah I hate you: Paramount+

I guess it's unfair to put this one at the bottom since it's the newest one on this list, but that's what makes it so easy too. If you are looking for great original content this is the worst place to look. Not to say everything they have is awful because that's not true. Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Mayor of Kingstown, and 1923 are all good shows.... but that's about it on the service. If you love Yellowstone, then this is a must-have service, because they got countless spinoffs of that show coming to Paramount. This is more of a problem of just not being around long enough to really have a great library of original content on top of the fact that it's just another service that feels like it doesn't really need to exist. 

Favorite Show: Star Trek Strange New Worlds

So that's it. Every service seems to have some great content in it, but for most services, it's a lot of forgettable content thrown in alongside that great stuff. Everyone will have different opinions based on their interests, but it's my opinion and it's the right one. So yeah... cancel Paramount+ already. (Unless you get it for free like I do). 

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1/08/2024

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom Review and the state of Comic Book movies

 The sequel to the 2018 Aquaman and the final movie in the DCEU came out recently and I finally got a chance to see it. The buzz for this movie was pretty weak for several reasons, mostly the fact that the first movie wasn't very good and the fact that this movie will have no impact on the upcoming DC movies. I guess it's unfair to judge a movie based on those reasons, but the trailer for this movie didn't do it much favors either. Unfortunately, a movie like this was just kind of destined to fail as soon as it hit the theaters, most people weren't going to give this a fair shot. The movie actually ended up being the most successful DCEU movie of the year, but in a year where all the other DCEU movies were box office bombs, it's not very impressive. So with all that being said, was the movie even that bad?


Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom continues the story of Jason Momoa's Arthur Curry as he is now the King of Atlantis and a new father. He spends his days trying to balance his life as king and father but is frustrated that he can't seem to make a difference in his Kingdom. Things get worse when an old nemesis known as Manta finds a new powerful weapon that he can use to awaken a dead army that could lead to the destruction of the world. Aquaman is forced to team up with his old rival/brother whom he imprisoned in the last movie to try to stop Manta from accomplishing his mission. 


I was surprised that I actually ended up liking this movie a little more than the first one. You should probably know I thought the first movie was incredibly mediocre and was carried by Jason Momoa's charisma as Aquaman. This movie is also carried by that charisma, but this time we also get a lot of good moments between Jason and Patrick Wilson as his brother. The two guys are just great actors and have a fun dynamic with each other that both actors are great at making entertaining. That can only carry the movie so far when pretty much the rest of the movie is a big mess. The villain from the first movie returns, and while they make him a much bigger threat, he still ends up feeling like a generic "going to destroy the world" bad guy with little to no interesting dialog. His motivation is revenge, which is understandable, but outside of that, his character feels really boring and one note. I almost felt like they could have replaced him with another villain to make the movie more interesting, but since they built him up in the first movie they had to bring him back, I guess. A lot of the other characters from the first movie return for small parts in this new story, almost like cameos until the end battle where you get the generic CGI fest of explosions and the good guys beating countless nameless enemies. You also get a new character played by Randall Park who's just there to be a comic relief to play off the villain and try to make those scenes the slightest bit more entertaining. It doesn't really work and it feels the movie should have just removed his part to make the movie shorter... this coming from a fan of Randall Park. He deserved better. 


The movie ultimately just feels like a very generic comic book movie at this point, and after years of seeing great MCU films and some really good animated ones this year, this is a movie that would have been a little more successful in the early 2000s when comic book movies were still trying to figure themselves out. Looking back at a lot of the comic book movies/shows of the last few years it feels like we're getting more and more of these and less of the great films we got used to. The interest in comic book movies and shows seems to be going down these years, especially with the MCU and how many shows they put out on Disney+ that ended up being pretty forgettable. Now that the MCU has moved on from a lot of the big stars and the DCEU is officially over it seems like both studios are headed to a place where they can start to focus on building new stars for the future and trying new ideas out to keep the genre fresh. Could be a good idea to maybe start spreading the releases out a bit too and not have 6-7 MCU movies/shows and 4-5 DC movies coming out in one year. Both Disney and Warner Bros have been making some bad decisions when it comes to their movies like WB deleting shows from streaming to not have to pay actors and scrapping fully completed movies for tax write-offs. It's hard to tell if things will get better with the new James Gunn DC universe, but his work on Guardians of the Galaxy and The Suicide Squad leaves me feeling optimistic about things. Hope that means we finally get some good Superman movies. 


So Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom sends the DCEU off with a whimper, which feels right since most of the DCEU movies were pretty bad. It's been a long time coming and now we can finally move on from it. That being said I will miss Jason Momoa as Aquaman, as he was one of the few that really felt like he fit in as his role in the movies. There's always a chance he could play a different role in the new movies, but for now, I'll remember him as one of the few bright spots in the DCEU. A man so charismatic he carried this awful movie and turned it into a below average movie. 


Overall Grade: C-

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