Number 1: Drake - Toosie Slide
Ugh, he's back with another number one single. At this point, Drake could release a 10-minute track of him eating chips loudly and still get a number one single... that comes across strangely complimentary. The point is that this song is Drake being extremely lazy like he's been doing for the past 4-5 years now. Boring beat backing Drake's unenthusiastic vocals as he tells you how to do some kind of dance and compares his moves to Michael Jackson. Dance music? This is dance music? Am I just like, getting too old to understand all these trends? So this song was also kind of created to be a viral TikTok song, which a lot of songs these days have gained lots of popularity through TikTok like Vine used to do back in the day (back in the day, a few years ago, same thing).
So yeah, this song is boring and Drake is going to make tons of money from this so it doesn't really matter what I think. And look, if it brings fun to people stuck at home by letting them make dance videos on TikTok, then that's fine. Just as a song alone, it doesn't really have a lot to offer as a listener and there's plenty of other great dance music I'd rather listen to.
Overall rating: 1 ghostwriter out of 5
Number 2: The Weeknd - Blinding Lights
The Weeknd is an interesting artist. When he's on he is on, meaning that he clearly has lots of talent and when he's really showing it off he makes some really great songs. But, there's also the side of Weeknd that makes some pretty boring/questionable choices in his songs. This song though, definitely on the great side. Actually, Weeknd has been hitting it out of the park with his last few singles for his new album. This song has some good energy with Weeknd's vocals doing some awesome things. The song and the album have a nice 80s synth-pop beat/music throughout, which fits well with the lyrics. It also has a track called "In Your Eyes" that sounds like Japanese city-pop from the 80s which is really awesome. The song is about the singer's distractions by I assume the city nightlife, where he can only find comfort when he's with his lover. The 80s synth music really fits in with this theme, at least in my mind it does. The rhythm is upbeat, but the synth sounds present a kind of darkness that matches the tone of the lyrics.
Overall rating: 4 out of 5 Uncut Gems.
Number 3: Roddy Ricch - The Box
Not really sure how to feel about this one. I am forever thankful to this song for keeping Justin Bieber's trash single "Yummy" from reaching number one. Besides that, this song is actually pretty decent despite being a genre that's usually very hard to reach me. The beat is pretty good, but I really like Roddy's style of rapping, at least in this song. He's got a good flow that keeps the song interesting and it feels different enough from others in this genre that it's kind of a breath of fresh air. After listening to a few other songs, I do enjoy his style not just on this song. It's a nice surprise, and maybe he'll find more success in the future. But since I like him... probably not.
Overall rating: 3.5 Yummys out of 5
Number 4: Dua Lipa - Don't Start Now
ahh yeah, Dua Lipa's back with a new album and this is her big single from that one. Look this song is great and Dua Lipa is great and that's all that I need to say right?
Well, the song has a fantastic bass just slappin' and poppin' joy right into my ears. Dua Lipa's vocals are fantastic as you'd expect from her. The song is just incredibly fun and upbeat, something I crave more from modern pop music. It's also nice to get a more 70s style disco track at a time where so many things are sounding like the 80s (not that I really dislike that trend). Can I just listen to this song 6 more times instead of the rest of the list?
Overall rating: 4.5 disco balls out of 5
Number 5: Drake/Future - Life is Good?
NOOOOOOOOO. NO. Another Drake song? This time featuring the one person more boring than Drake in Future? This should be a masterpiece right? The worst part about this is that it's actually two different songs on one track, one by each artist... sorry, "artist".
So yeah, it's boring. Not much else to say. I usually listen to each song a few times to really dive in and get my thoughts in order, but I just can't do it here. That's enough Drake for now.
Overall grade: Life is meaningless.
Number 6: Post Malone - Circles
I've never been a big Post Malone fan, but after listening to the last song, this one comes across so much better. I know in reality it's a pretty mediocre song though, it's got a decent little bassline and beat that keep the flow of the song going with a nice tempo. It's nice to hear a Post Malone song with a little bit of energy behind it instead of just really slow and boring delivery and music. His vocals are still pretty boring though, he's not like a great singer or anything, at least not in this song. The melody in the chorus has some potential, but Post's delivery just doesn't give it enough to make it what it needs to be.
Overall grade: A can of Diet Coca-Cola.*
*I know some people like it, but I think it's quite gross
*I know some people like it, but I think it's quite gross
Number 7: Jerry Styles - Ah Door You
Harry Styles makes a song about that feeling you get when you first romantically connect with someone, the joy, and the bliss. Harry's last big single "Watermelon Sugar" was one that took me some time to really get into, at first I kind of hated it. This one is a bit different for me as I instantly liked it upon first listen. After a few listens I feel like this song might have the opposite effect on me as Watermelon Sugar though, in that I think I'll like it less over time. Harry Styles is so very talented though, and I still look forward to seeing what he'll make as he gets older because he just seems to be getting better and better. This song has a lot of great music much like a lot of the other tracks from this album. A great bassline with some good guitar work and Style's passionate vocals doing what they need to do to set the mood the song is going for. Some nice touches throughout like backup vocals and a nice guitar solo.
Overall grade: 3.5 watermelons out of 5
Number 8: Doja Cat - Say So
Oh yes, another heavy bass 70s/80s style pop song with some very catchy melodies and even some good rap verses. I got to say I'm really liking this new trend of throwback style heavy bass pop songs, at least for now. It's just so much fun to listen to and actually kinda makes you want to dance... unlike a certain Drake song that's also supposed to be a dance hit. I've never heard of this Doja Cat until recently, but this was a very good first impression. I hope she continues to do whatever this is.
Overall grade: 3.5 Who are you's? out of 5
Number 9: Intentions - Justin Bieber w/ Quavo
The only interesting thing about this song is my computer trying to auto-correct Quavo to queso, which isn't even an English word. Porque no hay queso? El queso tiene mas talento de Justin Bieber y Quavo.
But seriously this song is bad just like the rest of Bieber's new album that already feels outdated in less than a year. It is at least a little better than his last failure of a single "Yummy", which is quickly falling off the charts at the moment. At least the lyrics are slightly less cringy. With amazing lyrics "picture-perfect, you don't need a filter" the bar can only go so high. This is what professional writers are for, earning those big bucks. The sad part is that his last album showed a lot of potential for his future. But instead of continuing that improvement, he releases his most boring album that can't even get a number one single. At least we got that going for us.
Overall grade: 0.5 Quesos out of 5
Number 10: Billie Eilish - everything i wanted
Back when I was making my best of 2019 list I really wanted to put this song on there, but it just wasn't a big enough hit yet as it was released a little late into the year. But I do love this song actually, it's just so different from everything else on the charts. I think a song like this really sets Billie apart from the other pop artists on the charts. It just feels really raw and kinda beautiful in a strange way. It continues some of the themes from her album last year about sleeping and dreaming. The song deals with some heavy topics and feels very honest and real, probably because it is to her, or at least was. Dealing with dark times in her life is where this song came from and you can really feel it in her delivery along with the soft, but pretty music that almost feels haunting in a way. This is my favorite song by Billie, and it's just fantastic.
Overall grade: 5 A+'s out of 5
I have to say I'm actually surprised by how good some of these songs were, especially the upbeat dance songs by Weeknd, Dua Lipa, and Doja Cat. Like I said before, I'm really digging these 70s and 80s style pop songs with a modern twist. All three artists have lots of charisma and vocal talent that is backed by song fun music, and isn't that what you want in pop music? But there's also some variety here with Harry Style's newest single, which has a little of that throwback style as well. Then there's Billie Eilish's song that really invokes different emotions than the rest of the songs on the list (in a good way). Even a surprise with that Roddy Ricch song was nice. And despite all this good music on the charts, we still have another number-one single by the prince of boredom himself, Drake. On top of that, he has another top 10 hit with Future this week that's also mediocre as hell. Then there's Bieber who also gets another top 10 hit too from his boring album. I didn't even get to number 11 this week which was "Someone You Loved" by Lewis Capaldi, that one song I called my least favorite of last year that's still kicking it near the top 10 for some reason. But I'll take the positives here and hold them close, maybe one of the good ones will climb up to number 1 (hopefully Dua Lipa, but maybe Harry Styles can finally get a number one here in the USA).
And this is my 99th post here so... I guess the big 100 is next?
And this is my 99th post here so... I guess the big 100 is next?
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